Cracked Egg Heads And Devolution

So, many of you have probably already heard about the evolutionary link that was discovered that predates "Lucy". They announced it last week.

Before Lucy Came Ardi

How CUTE is she? With that bowl cut around her head? And women with a little bit of fur on them does it for me EVERY TIME. "OH yeah, baby. You like it when Papa rubs the fur on your shoulders like that? Yeah? What about all that fur on your tummy and right above your boobie-doobies? Yeah? Mama likes? NOW, MAMA GETS A SPANKIN'! MAMA GETS A SPANKIN' ON HER FURRY BUMBUM!! What's with all the whooppin' and hollerin', baby?? You no likey? Oh... Thanks for the banana."

The only thing is the size of her hands...

If you pissed her off she would SO JACK YOU UP, BRO.
PLUS, Those hands would TOTALLY make a dude's peep look really small. So, BOM CHICKA FUR BALL would end in the sound of a scratching record. zzzrrrrtttttttt. "Baby... Can't you do anything about those hands? Like at the VERY LEAST, don't open them up, okay? Because all the other furballs over there watching us will start laughing again."

Now, one thing that they found that they didn't announce was that "Ardi" had more intelligence 4.4 million years ago than the following idiots put together.

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George W. actually made a plea HIMSELF last year requesting the Olympics in Chicago. As MOST leaders of countries do from nations that are possibilities for hosting the Olympics. So, sorry to disappoint the haters... It was nothing new for President Obama to do this.

It just really astounds me. When we lived in Santa Barbara, and being a veteran myself, we marched against the pending war in Iraq. And I continued to march against the war after we invaded. I was ardently against the George W. Bush Administration's policies and I'm sure you remember me going on and on about it if you've been reading this blog for that long.

However, I NEVER wanted to see that administration fail. I WANTED to be proven wrong. I WANTED to be the one mistaken. If they hadn't noticed, if our administration fails, so does the lot of us. So, does the country.

As the Americans I was led to believe we are, we should be caring for PEOPLE, not egos.

So, it just really blows me away the amount of petty rhetoric flying around from these rogue conservatives. And what blows me away EVEN MORE is that the conservatives that DON'T BELIEVE the shit flying out of these assholes' mouths (appropriately... shit flying out of assholes... get it? ha.) aren't standing up more and speaking out.

Let's start with,

Rotten Teeth Rove laughing about how everyone is running from the stench of his pie-hole. Yeah, we get it, Karl. You either eat mash potatoes 24/7 or your disgusting teeth are about to join your brain in hell and fall out.

Speaking of hell;

Satan Cheney, trying his best impression of Elvis Presley's curled lip. It's not working, Satan. No one has EVER found you sexy. Just scary.

And Lou Dobbs demonstrating how he prefers fisting to commence up his hole with just one finger. You gotta start somewhere, right Lou? You stupid fuck. (Lou Dobbs should never have "Talking smack" coming out of his mouth. Not ever. You're such a fucking idiot, Lou. Now, go make yourself useful and sit on a fist. Preferably your own.)

Freakhead Beck blubbering AGAIN. He's just amazing... I'm actually in awe of how fucking psycho he is. What happened here was HE wanted to be the one fisting Lou. Just look at him looking up at Lou pleading. But, Lou said, "No, thanks. Once Kevin Charnas told me that I could do it all by myself, I'm never leaving the house again." Sorry, Glenn... Still crying? Yep. Silly question.

And Angry Blimp Limbaugh responding to a reporter's question about how he plans on spontaneously combusting one of these days,

just like the Hindenburg.

But, I have a feeling that his fireball would take on a different form,

In the ultimate fuck you to the world. We would be so lucky.

So...

After seeing all these angry straight white men, something about their similarities (appearances - I know, I'm shallow) struck me and reminded me of someone I knew as a child...

This dumbass.

And we all know what happened to Humpty Dumpty...

Although, sticking with that similarity theme, I think they were a little cracked to begin with.

So, hopefully you're laughing a little bit. Hopefully a lot. But, you may be not be convinced yet about Ardi's superior intelligence to the above egg heads.

Well, besides Ardi being adorable with her bowl-cut and her huge hands, it was HIGHLY unlikely that she would behave in a manner that would be a detriment to her group or her world.

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Cleaning Up The Garbage Dump

(Clay Bennett / Chattanooga Times Free Press)

(Matt Davies / The Journal News)

(Mike Keefe / Denver Post)

CHAPEL HILL, N.C. – In political debate, the side that keeps its arguments simple and repeats them again and again is likely to gain the advantage. It is an easier sale, especially when the topic is as scary as terrorism.

That's because "simple" and "repetition" are much easier for stupid people to attain.

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"In dealing with this situation [Guantánamo], we do not have the luxury of starting from scratch. We are cleaning up something that is -- quite simply -- a mess; a misguided experiment that has left in its wake a flood of legal challenges that my administration is forced to deal with on a constant basis, and that consumes the time of government officials whose time should be spent on better protecting our country."
- President Barack Obama, address at the National Archives, 5/21/2009

Two Bush-era officials reject Cheney's security stance

****If you're so inclined, please sign the petition: Hold KBR/Halliburton War Profiteers Accountable

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Think Before You Speak (Imagine...)

This shit is CRACKING ME UP. And of course, it's true.

The other day, my nephew Nick told me about this series of Public Service Announcements.

Nicholas is the handsome devil in the middle. My oldest brother, Christopher (Nick's Father) is on the left, and my Father, LCDR Steve C. Charnas, is on the right. Nick is in flight school right now with the U.S. Navy and will be the 3rd generation in our family to be a U.S. Navy Pilot.

A couple of years back, Nick and his then girlfriend (now wife), Rachel, were staying with Will and myself in Santa Barbara. We were out and about, probably stumbling out of a winery, and Nick referred to something (other than Will or myself) as being "SO gay", meaning that that something was either bad or stupid.

I informed him how I felt on the matter (probably slurring the whole argument) of using that terminology to denote something bad. And I think that after I fully explained to him (through hiccups and more slurs) about an oppressed group "owning a word", he got it. He understood.

So, his understanding has come full-circle and he was the one to tell me of these PSA's, which I happen to find rather funny, though sadly true.

But honestly, I don't believe in a fascist society where we have to censor anything. (On a side-note, I find it rather peculiar that on television, we censor language and nudity, but not violence.) I don't wish to censor speech of any kind. I'd rather people censor themselves. I'd rather have people say what they're going to say, revealing how insensitive or sensitive, how hateful or thoughtful, how stupid or educated they really are, and that way I'll know WHO they are right off the bat. I'll know who I'm dealing with.

Because insensitive, hateful, stupid people?? Well, they're SO Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh.

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Auto-Tune The News (I think I like it better this way)

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Who knew that Katie Couric and Hillary Clinton could bring down the house like that??

I didn't, y'all. Dang...

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Dick Cheney VS Carrie Prejean

"We're dealing with a menace."

And... "We'll get them to kill each other."

These are both lines (respectively) from the upcoming movie staring Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson. I believe that it's going straight to DVD, unfortunately.

I'm sorry... But, I actually really want to see it. And the bigger the screen, the better.

And if the movie were actually about Dick Cheney and Carrie Prejean?? Dickhead Cheney being an over-aggressive, fat-ass, war-criminal shark that takes down airliners and the Golden Gate Bridge. And Carrie Prejean being a mushed-brain, too many limbed (the "too many" part being an over-extension of her poor intellect), with teeth too big for her head, over-indulged Octopussy that rips off her top in every other scene (actually, Octopuses are really quite intelligent and don't normally rip their tops off, so pardon my sad analogy) Then, I'D REALLY WANT TO SEE IT.

'Cause both lines really still apply.

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