Carrie Prejean's New Book!

"Matt... There may or may not be pictures of my bare vulva out there... How can I say? I mean... Can I control a photographer that may or may not have put a stealth camera in a toilet somewhere that I didn't know about while I was going wee-wee? How can one be sure? I mean, look... All I know is that women sit down to wee-wee and men stand up to pee-pee. That's all I know."

Carrie Prejean's Ass Gets Canned

"LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Carrie Prejean says that she is planning on penning a book about her experience as Miss California, a title she was stripped of by pageant organizers this week.

"I'm going to be writing A BOOK soon and it's going to be letting people know the truth about what's going on and what has gone on through all of this," Carrie told Billy Bush in an interview for Access Hollywood and "The Billy Bush Show" on Wednesday."

According to inside sources that wish to remain anonymous (me), Miss Prejean is very excited and has the cover of her pending book all figured out. And it's going to be quite revealing as to the actual content of the "book".

This anonymous source also states that Carrie's got her Crayola crayons all ready and is DETERMINED to stay inside the lines... where she and her three brain cells belong.

Carrie looks to her future...

(And by the way, did you notice the "EXIT" sign above Carrie's head? Yeah... That's appropriate...)

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Carrie Prejean's Opinion And Mine Too... Of Course

Now granted, you've all probably seen the underage photos of

Carrie Prejean's butt eating her pink panties. "RARRAARRAARRRARAA!!! OH, I LOVE THE TASTE OF PINK LACE, MMMPHH RARRAMMPHH..." (That's the sound of her butt eating her pan... yeah, that's it, you got it. You know me by now.)

And this one,

where inconveniently, the wind blew and her little vest popped open and revealed the red star of David. Only Carrie knows where the Smiley Face is... and my guess is, it has a small beard... or maybe wax burns.

I don't believe that we shouldn't say what we think or say how we feel on certain matters. Quite the contrary. I DO believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion and we should give it even if our voice shakes. Actually, especially if our voice shakes.

However, I think what bothers me with these beauty queens being asked certain questions that might be pertinent other than, "Do you like water sports?" And, "Can you point to an ocean on a map?", is that they're not educated.

I know, I know, you're surprised.

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you.

But, I do have a wish... Well, I have many wishes, but this wish is I believe that when people, no matter who they are, are going to be looked up to, they have a responsibility. So, it wouldn't be so bad if they were actually educated on a few topics and subjects and could present their arguments with merit.

When someone is for or against something, I just want to know WHY. And "because" isn't an acceptable answer. I know that I'm asking a lot...

Until then, the sinister side of me wouldn't mind if Carrie Prejean were tied up for awhile

like she was here for a frat party. I'm really fucking tired of hearing that 21 year old dumbass run her pie-hole.

Because I'm entitled to my opinion too and I'm just worn out on uneducated, truly thoughtless bimbos (male and female) getting air time.

(Thanks for the image, Jackie!)

**Shanna Moakler Resigns as Miss California Pageant Director**

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Dick Cheney VS Carrie Prejean

"We're dealing with a menace."

And... "We'll get them to kill each other."

These are both lines (respectively) from the upcoming movie staring Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson. I believe that it's going straight to DVD, unfortunately.

I'm sorry... But, I actually really want to see it. And the bigger the screen, the better.

And if the movie were actually about Dick Cheney and Carrie Prejean?? Dickhead Cheney being an over-aggressive, fat-ass, war-criminal shark that takes down airliners and the Golden Gate Bridge. And Carrie Prejean being a mushed-brain, too many limbed (the "too many" part being an over-extension of her poor intellect), with teeth too big for her head, over-indulged Octopussy that rips off her top in every other scene (actually, Octopuses are really quite intelligent and don't normally rip their tops off, so pardon my sad analogy) Then, I'D REALLY WANT TO SEE IT.

'Cause both lines really still apply.

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