Cracked Egg Heads And Devolution

So, many of you have probably already heard about the evolutionary link that was discovered that predates "Lucy". They announced it last week.

Before Lucy Came Ardi


How CUTE is she? With that bowl cut around her head? And women with a little bit of fur on them does it for me EVERY TIME. "OH yeah, baby. You like it when Papa rubs the fur on your shoulders like that? Yeah? What about all that fur on your tummy and right above your boobie-doobies? Yeah? Mama likes? NOW, MAMA GETS A SPANKIN'! MAMA GETS A SPANKIN' ON HER FURRY BUMBUM!! What's with all the whooppin' and hollerin', baby?? You no likey? Oh... Thanks for the banana."

The only thing is the size of her hands...


If you pissed her off she would SO JACK YOU UP, BRO.
PLUS, Those hands would TOTALLY make a dude's peep look really small. So, BOM CHICKA FUR BALL would end in the sound of a scratching record. zzzrrrrtttttttt. "Baby... Can't you do anything about those hands? Like at the VERY LEAST, don't open them up, okay? Because all the other furballs over there watching us will start laughing again."

Now, one thing that they found that they didn't announce was that "Ardi" had more intelligence 4.4 million years ago than the following idiots put together.

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George W. actually made a plea HIMSELF last year requesting the Olympics in Chicago. As MOST leaders of countries do from nations that are possibilities for hosting the Olympics. So, sorry to disappoint the haters... It was nothing new for President Obama to do this.

It just really astounds me. When we lived in Santa Barbara, and being a veteran myself, we marched against the pending war in Iraq. And I continued to march against the war after we invaded. I was ardently against the George W. Bush Administration's policies and I'm sure you remember me going on and on about it if you've been reading this blog for that long.

However, I NEVER wanted to see that administration fail. I WANTED to be proven wrong. I WANTED to be the one mistaken. If they hadn't noticed, if our administration fails, so does the lot of us. So, does the country.

As the Americans I was led to believe we are, we should be caring for PEOPLE, not egos.

So, it just really blows me away the amount of petty rhetoric flying around from these rogue conservatives. And what blows me away EVEN MORE is that the conservatives that DON'T BELIEVE the shit flying out of these assholes' mouths (appropriately... shit flying out of assholes... get it? ha.) aren't standing up more and speaking out.

Let's start with,


Rotten Teeth Rove laughing about how everyone is running from the stench of his pie-hole. Yeah, we get it, Karl. You either eat mash potatoes 24/7 or your disgusting teeth are about to join your brain in hell and fall out.

Speaking of hell;


Satan Cheney, trying his best impression of Elvis Presley's curled lip. It's not working, Satan. No one has EVER found you sexy. Just scary.


And Lou Dobbs demonstrating how he prefers fisting to commence up his hole with just one finger. You gotta start somewhere, right Lou? You stupid fuck. (Lou Dobbs should never have "Talking smack" coming out of his mouth. Not ever. You're such a fucking idiot, Lou. Now, go make yourself useful and sit on a fist. Preferably your own.)


Freakhead Beck blubbering AGAIN. He's just amazing... I'm actually in awe of how fucking psycho he is. What happened here was HE wanted to be the one fisting Lou. Just look at him looking up at Lou pleading. But, Lou said, "No, thanks. Once Kevin Charnas told me that I could do it all by myself, I'm never leaving the house again." Sorry, Glenn... Still crying? Yep. Silly question.


And Angry Blimp Limbaugh responding to a reporter's question about how he plans on spontaneously combusting one of these days,


just like the Hindenburg.

But, I have a feeling that his fireball would take on a different form,


In the ultimate fuck you to the world. We would be so lucky.

So...

After seeing all these angry straight white men, something about their similarities (appearances - I know, I'm shallow) struck me and reminded me of someone I knew as a child...


This dumbass.



And we all know what happened to Humpty Dumpty...


Although, sticking with that similarity theme, I think they were a little cracked to begin with.

So, hopefully you're laughing a little bit. Hopefully a lot. But, you may be not be convinced yet about Ardi's superior intelligence to the above egg heads.


Well, besides Ardi being adorable with her bowl-cut and her huge hands, it was HIGHLY unlikely that she would behave in a manner that would be a detriment to her group or her world.

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DUMB'S DAY AND THE DESTRUCTION OF THE MIND AS WE KNEW IT

oh my god...

oh. my. god.

i'm dying here.

I'M DYING HERE, BISHES!! DO YOU HEAR ME???

DYING!

The following video is disturbing, but completely mesmerizing and once I picked my strong, sexy, defined yet sophisticated jaw (my pointy chin) up off the floor, I must admit I began to snicker. And after the shock wore off, I can't help guffawing at these people... It leads me to believe that when people like this have diarrhea, they must rub their 4 brain cells together to remind themselves that they're actually not melting.

"MMAAA!! WHAT'S HHAAPPENIN'?? I'M MELTIN'!!"

Ma, "Oh Junior, we done beeen through dis beefor. Ya gots the sheets is all."

Junior, "Oh... tha's right. I remembers nows, Mama. Well, thanks baby Jesus. Thanks for not meltin' me and my Ma. Even though it smells like we is. Aamen. And puleeze tell Santa I said, "Hi". Now, aamen."

There's just too many wonderful things to quote from this footage. But, here's a few;

"BOYCOTT HOLLYWOOD AND ALL OF THE COMMIES!!! MCCARTHY AND JOHN WAYNE WERE RIGHT!!"

"STOP THE SPENDING OR LEARN CHINESE!!"

"IIii'addd liiike to see a Chreeestiiun in the Whiiite House."

And look for her later in the clip (she won't be difficult to spot), when she starts crying it's just so fucking money.

The CZAR comments are truly awe-inspiring...

And my favorite?

"It hasn't even been a year yet and he's destroyed MOST of the country! I mean, come on! That's crazy!"

You guys, it's true. I mean... this is my neighborhood since Barack took office in January,

And the White House has honed a laser that just this morning came shooting out of President Obama's hole and it destroyed this car on my street!


That's the paperboy running for his life.

And Barack's honed-laser hole struck for the first time just last week at a Mary Kay Convention in Tampa!


Those used to be brilliant, shinny, pink Cadillacs belonging to some of the TOP Mary Kay reps in the NATION. Barack Obama HATES Mary Kay.

The media is SO liberal, they're not reporting it though. It's just FUCKING TERRIBLE!!

YOU GUYS!! IF WE DON'T STOP BARACK OBAMA'S HOLE NOW,


Well, there's NO TELLING WHAT COULD HAPPEN!!!

RUUNNN FEERR YER CHREEESSTTIIUNN LIIIVVEESSSZZ, FFUUUKKERRS!!!

***And in case you missed my post on: Jesus Christ And His Tennis Shoes

***Study links 45,000 U.S. deaths to lack of insurance***

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