So, during the past few months, there have been some scares in my family. My Sister had been having some symptoms that were mimicking multiple sclerosis and had a doctor that was mimicking a fucking asshole. And my Mother was diagnosed with melanoma on her arm.
We were very, very fortunate in both outcomes and the man in me was "certain" we would be. While the little boy in me wasn't so sure, but shivered quietly and sent desperate prayers out in the air.
If we're "lucky" indeed... And chances are, if you're reading this, you're better off than most people on the planet. So, there is much to be grateful for...
And I try to remind myself of that as often as I can. I don't always succeed in it, but it's well worth trying. And if I don't, life will have a way of reminding me whether I like it or not. So for now, for this very beautiful moment, I'll try to beat life to the punch and remind myself how very lucky I am.
Happy New Year, bishes! I truly hope it's your best one yet.
Thank you for this video clip, Lissy! SO fricking sweet...
I just can't help thinking that this
is going to be that guy at the beach in another year or so. Carrying his head in his hands wherever he goes... And he'll be all like, "I slipped! And it was MY fault! I hit that lion in the mouth with my neck!"
I'm not saying it's the lion's fault for being a lion...
Oh well, headless or not, for today it's still terribly sweet, bishes.
That's all we truly have anyway, right? The moment? And really, tomorrow we could all end up in the jaws of a lion, metaphorically speaking of course. So, why waste today on what "might be" tomorrow?
Because right now, we're just fine. And that hottie up there in that video with the lioness and her cubs are fucking CUTE AS SHIT. (Not that actual turds are cute, but you know what I mean...)
Forgiveness is a pretty tricky thing. Whether ourselves or someone else deserves it or not is really beside the point. Most of us barely know what we're doing. If we really know at all.
So, I think that when it comes to guilt and forgiveness, instead of being crippled by the former, and overwhelmed by the notion of the later, we should own both. We're disasters and we mess up and we learn. And to avoid it being an even bigger disaster, we MOVE ON.
It's the humility that's important. It's okay to be humble. It's a strength, really. True humility is vastly under-rated. It's being secure enough to be insecure. To say, "I totally fucked up and I'm sorry... I don't know what I was thinking..." Or allowing the other person to be sorry, even if they aren't. Because somewhere deep down, they loathe themselves that they can't be strong enough to be regretful and demonstrate that, and that's true punishment - sometimes too much so. And harboring guilt and resentment is an immense burden. It clenches the heart and anchors the spirit. And it gives an unfortunate situation much more merit than it deserves. And it removes us from place and time, it isolates us and takes us away from this very moment.
The following story comes from "Dawn" - and I dunno where girlfriend heard it from, but it comes to us by way of her. Thank you, Dawn! It couldn't be truer.
Ever hear the story of the person looking for a place to live who stops at a gas station with two older gentleman sitting outside? The man asks the two older gentleman if the town up ahead is a good place to live. The one gentleman answers with a question, "Well, I'll tell you, but first tell me about the place you're coming from."
The man says, "Well, it was pretty awful, people weren't friendly, there aren't any jobs and the town just looks awful."
The gentleman then says, "Well, the town ahead is pretty much the same, you may want to look somewhere else for a place to live."
The man thanks him and leaves.
About an hour later another man pulls up and asks the same question in which the older gentleman answers with the same question. The man replies and says that he's "really sad to leave his old town. That the people were so kind and that the town was such a lovely place to raise a family but that his job closed its doors and he had to leave."
The older gentleman responded with, "Then you will love the town up ahead, it's just like your old town". The man thanked him and was on his way.
The second gentleman looked at the older gentleman and said, "Why did you tell the first man that it was a bad town, but the second one that it was a good town?"
The older, wiser gentleman said, "It's not where you live but your attitude about where you live. If you always see the negative then everything in your life will reflect that and nothing will ever be enough. But, if you always look for the good, then you will bring that joy and love of life with you and you will always find a home filled with peace and love."
I hope you find happiness where you are. Dont forget to look for the silver lining or your life will always be dull :)
"I realized that the myriad discoveries one might make on a ramble are being replaced by the determinate, by speed.
"I know that our technologies save time, and I use them myself - a truck, a computer, a cell phone - but I fear their false urgency, their call to speed, their insistence that travel is less important than arrival. I like walking BECAUSE it is slow, and I suspect that the mind, like the feet, works at about three miles an hour. If this is so, then modern life is moving faster than the speed of thought. Or thoughtfulness."
In this image from L to R: Kevin Charnas (me, ho's), Adam Thatcher, Nicole Perrone, Alexis Floyd, Trae Hicks, Pandora Robertson and Jonathon Ramos. (Please feel free to click on the images to enlarge.)
In this image from L to R: Kevin Charnas (me again, ho's), Adam Thatcher, Nicole Perrone, Alexis Floyd, Trae Hicks, Pandora Robertson and Jonathon Ramos.
The Walk to Selma
In this image from L to R: Kevin Charnas (my bootie, ho's), Adam Thatcher, Nicole Perrone, Trae Hicks, Pandora Robertson and Jonathon Ramos.
In this image from L to R: Kevin Charnas, Nicole Perrone, Jonathon Ramos, Pandora Robertson and Trae Hicks.
Image L to R: Jonathon Ramos, Pandora Robertson, Nicole Perrone and the ankle biter - Kevin Charnas.
In this image from L to R: Adam Thatcher, Trae Hicks gettin' down on the accordion, Pandora Robertson, Alexis Floyd, Jonathon Ramos, Nicole Perrone (in the blonde wig) and Monsieur Charnas (trying to distract himself for not being the one in the blonde wig).
Don't pass by inventive 'Wanderlust' at Cleveland Public Theatre (And he said, "in these inventive hands," - he's talking about Matthew Earnest -"it's a nonstop, highly choreographed dance-theater piece in which an indefatigable ensemble of seven walks this way, talks this way on a set (by Earnest and Curtis Young) consisting of a stage of dirt and a wall-size chalkboard on which history is writ." - He said we were "indefatigable", bishes... Dang. I didn't think NOBODY could be hearin' our farts out in the audience while we be runnin' around! Sshhiiittt...)
‘Wanderlust’ at CPT is a total immersion experience (She said, "Charnas is riotous as a gay hooker in high heels soliciting clients." - Okay, so I'm "gay", yes. And I played a "hooker", yes. But, I really wasn't suppose to be both at the same time. I'll have to work on that...
(Photo credits: Dan Schreckengost)
So, this is our patio at night:
Photo courtesy of Monsieur William Bezek. As are the patio lights strung from the garage to the house. Thanks, Bub! They're amazing, bishes... Except here they kind of look like glowing horns coming out of the garage's head. I mean, roof. Roof, I suppose.
So, the other day (it was daytime, not night time), I was thinking of all the things I have to do. I was thinking of all the things I keep putting off (because I'm superb at procrastinating) and how everything is going to catch up with me. That I really need to start somewhere to get a handle on my life. Well, I was on the verge of being overwhelmed standing on that patio when suddenly, all in one frame of view, all without turning my frenetic melon, I could see
a Monarch Butterfly
three Eastern Tiger Swallowtail Butterflies
a Goldfinch patiently waiting to balance precariously on a cone flower for something to eat.
I could see
a Ruby-Throated Hummingbird whirling around,
like a crazy wind-up toy...
quietly humming like a hover-craft having a sip from the Monarda.
I could see
a chubby brown squirrel, sitting on his haunches.
And an Eastern Chipmunk
with his cheeks all stuffed with lunch.
It was really kind of a surreal moment. I felt like frickin' Snow White. Except there were no sex-starved dwarves trying to slip me a roofie and look up my skirt at my poonany. (I know... Some girls have all the luck.)
But, all of that in one view... In one simple and beautiful view... I suddenly felt profoundly grateful. I felt like I could breathe...
I wish that I could fully translate to you how peaceful it was. How it was as though time stopped for a moment. I was looking for a cool music video, or some vid with some great soothing sounds for you, something to inspire and relax you and to give you an idea of how it felt, but then I found this...
And if you're able to bring yourself to a full stop, it reminded me what beauty there is in quiet... That my thoughts won't always eat me alive. And to just, ... ... be. That there truly is magnificence in standing still.
(If you just can't bear to watch the whole thing, I just encourage you to at least watch the first minute - the way the feathers near her a-hole and her own poonany (as opposed to mine) ruffle with each flap of her wings, and really how incredibly remarkable she is... Then, if you head to 2:51, you'll see her pull back, and whirl away into space and time. It's fucking brilliant. Take the time and breathe deeply... You're worth it.)