Still Standing

in

So, this is our patio at night: Photo courtesy of Monsieur William Bezek. As are the patio lights strung from the garage to the house. Thanks, Bub! They're amazing, bishes... Except here they kind of look like glowing horns coming out of the garage's head. I mean, roof. Roof, I suppose.

So, the other day (it was daytime, not night time), I was thinking of all the things I have to do. I was thinking of all the things I keep putting off (because I'm superb at procrastinating) and how everything is going to catch up with me. That I really need to start somewhere to get a handle on my life. Well, I was on the verge of being overwhelmed standing on that patio when suddenly, all in one frame of view, all without turning my frenetic melon, I could see

a Monarch Butterfly

and

three Eastern Tiger Swallowtail Butterflies

and

a Goldfinch patiently waiting to balance precariously on a cone flower for something to eat.

I could see

a Ruby-Throated Hummingbird whirling around,

like a crazy wind-up toy...

quietly humming like a hover-craft having a sip from the Monarda.

I could see a chubby brown squirrel, sitting on his haunches.

And an Eastern Chipmunk

with his cheeks all stuffed with lunch.

It was really kind of a surreal moment. I felt like frickin' Snow White. Except there were no sex-starved dwarves trying to slip me a roofie and look up my skirt at my poonany. (I know... Some girls have all the luck.)

But, all of that in one view... In one simple and beautiful view... I suddenly felt profoundly grateful. I felt like I could breathe...

I wish that I could fully translate to you how peaceful it was. How it was as though time stopped for a moment. I was looking for a cool music video, or some vid with some great soothing sounds for you, something to inspire and relax you and to give you an idea of how it felt, but then I found this...

And if you're able to bring yourself to a full stop, it reminded me what beauty there is in quiet... That my thoughts won't always eat me alive. And to just, ... ... be. That there truly is magnificence in standing still.

(If you just can't bear to watch the whole thing, I just encourage you to at least watch the first minute - the way the feathers near her a-hole and her own poonany (as opposed to mine) ruffle with each flap of her wings, and really how incredibly remarkable she is... Then, if you head to 2:51, you'll see her pull back, and whirl away into space and time. It's fucking brilliant. Take the time and breathe deeply... You're worth it.)

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