What's Necessary

So, a little over a week ago, Will and I went to see Tom Ford's film, "A Single Man" with our friends, Tristan and Clancy.

It was a really good film. Set in Los Angeles in the early 60's, it's very stylistic and visually compelling.

And I think Tom Ford does an excellent job of portraying the acuteness and closer scope of vision, metaphorically and literally, that we all have when tragedy strikes.

I strongly recommend seeing it at the theaters while it's out. If you haven't yet seen it, I wouldn't watch any of the clips below. But, to see the high stylization of the film, and how palpable "George's" (played by Colin Firth) heartache is on the big screen is well worth it. It will certainly lose some punch when it's viewed on a small screen, as any movie does.

After the first few minutes of the film, an older woman who was sitting in the row directly in front of us and virtually minutes away from death began talking loudly. She started, "I THINK THIS IS GAY... I THINK THIS MOVIE IS GAY... I THINK THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT GAY PEOPLE!!"

Her ultra-white-hair-covered head was bobbing up and down and turning every which way as though a wreaking ball was going to take her out at any minute. She continued on her rant for the hearing-impaired, "I'M PRETTY SURE THIS MOVIE IS GAY! I'M GOING TO SEE IF I CAN GET MY MONEY BACK!!"

She got up, climbed over 5 people, disrupting everyone and stormed out of the theater never to return. Her permanent exit had NOTHING to do with me following her and stuffing her into a garbage can in the Ladies' Restroom, if you're wondering.

We actually thought it was quite funny and we all guffawed over it.

I have always enjoyed placing the elderly into trash cans. It's a favorite past-time of mine.

So, anyway, during the film, "George and Jim's" 16 year relationship really wasn't taken seriously. Even by the people closest to them. And that was heart-breaking in its own regard.

It was a beautiful film and though it was melancholy, I didn't feel sad so much as I felt grateful. Reminded how temporary it all is... Reminded to be thankful for this very moment, for that's all we really have.

After the film, the four of us went for sushi. And at the dinner table, "Tristan and Clancy" presented us with a card, which also contained a generous gift card inside to one of our favorite shops. It was in honor of our marriage, which they felt they hadn't properly acknowledged. "Tristan and Clancy" are a heterosexual couple, if you're wondering.

We both objected, saying that they didn't have to go through any trouble and that it really wasn't necessary...

They said it wasn't any trouble and it was necessary.

Well, when we opened the card, the front of it said, "BELIEVE".

And on the inside,

"Believe in your dreams. Believe in your love. Believe in forever.

Have a Happy Marriage.

With Love Always,

Clancy and Tristan"

And suddenly, I had a hard time holding back the tears from my dampened eyes...

Some of my oldest, dearest friends (gay and straight), still refer to Will as my "boyfriend". And while I don't refer to him as my "husband", but rather as my "partner". He is. He IS my husband. And I am his.

And acknowledgment from those you love can send one's spirit SOARING. And I was reminded of that.

Thank you... THANK YOU, "Clancy and Tristan". With your belief in us, you help us to believe in ourselves. And that's the biggest gift anyone can ever give...

* Where Love Flies
* "I Kevin, Take You Will, To Be Seven Letters..."


The McCain Women Step Up

First, it was his daughter, Meghan McCain that came out against Prop 8.

And now, it's his wife.

Cindy McCain comes out for gay marriage, poses for anti-Prop 8 ad

"Marriage equality is not just a Democrat or Republican issue, it is a human one."

- Meghan McCain

Dear Senator McCain,

If justice should prevail and gay marriage comes to pass, I don't want you to worry... okay? Don't worry, John... No dude I know would EVER want to marry you, no matter how much you might secretly wish it, even for the sake of soothing your ego.

But, if that makes you fret, I bet that fuck-face Glenn Beck would. Or that shit-mouth Rush Limbaugh. You guys could get together and have one big nasty old white man 69 fest. Tea-Bagging each other and pulling each other's hair (it would have to be your pubes) and spanking one another's nasty bottoms and EVERYTHANG!!

I think I just threw up in my mouth...

But, Cindy? Cindy McCain??

I'm impressed.


A 10 Year Old Badass And A CNN Dumbass

So, at some point, the talking head from CNN says, "In every state across the nation where it has been put to the voters it has gone down to defeat. So, the democratic process is taking place here. Seems to be something that voters at large, do not support."

Last year in California, over Prop 8, California voted it down 52% to 48%. And in the recent vote, Maine voted it down 53% to 47%. So, it's not "something that voters AT LARGE, do not support." Hardly, "at large", you fucking moron. It's actually rather close.

I wrote about voters verses courts deciding civil rights matters back in: The Seeing Eye Car; "Justice is blindfolded for a reason, to see without prejudice, without bias, to see objectively, without fear or favor, regardless of the identity, power, or weakness of the involved."

And actually, the "democratic process" is STILL taking place when a court makes a decision about something. Those judges are still appointed via a democratic process, whether we like it or not.

I'm so fucking tired of stupid people...

Wait a minute.

I don't want to make this all about stupid, uneducated, hillbillies that also happen to be getting paid as "journalists".

That young man (a.k.a. "Gaywad") up in that video clip is a TOTAL BADASS. And that's good enough for me.

"Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind -- even if your voice shakes." - Maggie Kuhn

Because it ALL DOES MATTER: A Milestone, An Anniversary, And A Ring

And silence is compliance.


I Thought Maine Was Pretty, But I Guess There's Nothing Upstairs...

Defeat in Maine a harsh blow to gay-marriage drive

So, this video contribution comes to us from our brilliant playwright/composer correspondent, Ryan. Thanks, Ryan!

At first I felt kind of bad for the little scared black cat fella. I always have a soft spot in my heart for the under-dog. Then, I put Maine in his place, and suddenly, I found myself the bitchy one all ready to rip some serious fur... Sorry, bigotry and oppression does that to me.

(Copyright - The New Yorker)


Philip's Fight For Freedom

"I was pretty surprised to be asked a question like that. It made no sense to me. And then finally I asked her, 'What do you think I fought for over on Omaha Beach?'"

Thank you, Dor, over at Mom Goes Green, for this special contribution.


In Hillel The Elder's Words: "If Not Now, When?"

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The Obama Administration actually likened Gay Marriage to pedophilia and incest...

If you're so inclined, please take a moment to sign this petition: Tell Obama and Holder: Stop defending Inequality.


If The Tables Were Turned...

Joe In Vegas sent this to me. Thanks, Joe! I actually hadn't seen this one. So, thank you very much, sir. It made me burst out laughing, "And now you have bastards." And then, it got me a little...verklempt. Talks amongst yourselves...

*New Hampshire Legislature approves gay marriage*


California Approves of Inequality

California high court upholds hatred and bigotry and ignorance.

So much for Lady Justice being blind-folded for a reason.

Will just walked upstairs from his workshop in the basement. And I was actually weeping here at the Dining Room table...

I didn't expect it to hit me like this... I didn't expect the California Court to go against the grain of its bigoted voters, its stupid citizens, but it just hit me sober. Painfully sober.

And if you've never been marginalized or oppressed, you have no idea how it feels.

You have no fucking idea.

If you did, you would NEVER want anyone to feel left out. Not ever.

Shame on you, California. Shame on you...

** The Courage Campaign

** Would you like a free sticker showing your support for gay marriage?


Dear Friend,

It is with an overwhelming sense of sadness that we learned today that the California Supreme Court has ruled that Proposition 8 - the voter initiative to deny the civil rights of marriage to gay and lesbian taxpayers - has been upheld. Our right to enjoy the full benefits and legal protections afforded by marriage in California - only just recently won - have been taken away by a slim electoral majority. While not entirely unexpected, it is profoundly disappointing that the highest court in California ruled that the right to marry can be taken away from a minority by a simple vote.

We believe this decision to be morally and constitutionally wrong, and will continue to vigorously fight it through all means available to us.

In response to this gross miscarriage of justice, hundreds of community-based organizations throughout California are mobilizing, and organizing a positive, pro-active response. We take great comfort in the millions of Californians - gay, straight, rich, poor, black, brown, white...etc, - who join us in fighting this assault on our - and their - civil rights.

Please join us at any of the following events:

- RALLY TONIGHT at 6pm at the S.B. Courthouse (bring signs)
- PROTEST MARCH this Saturday starting at Noon at the S.B. Courthouse (bring water & signs and wear comfortable walking shoes).

- RALLY TONIGHT at 6pm at the corner of Betteravia and Miller Streets in Santa Maria (bring signs)

Stay Informed



Gay Marriage Is No Longer Immoral... It's a Budget Buster Now

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Michael Steele and the Republicans are just embarrassingly pathetic...

The California Supreme Court announced that it will release its decision on the fate of Proposition 8 on Tuesday, May 26.

The court will either uphold the Constitution, recognizing equal protection under the law, or uphold discrimination, taking away fundamental civil rights from a minority. (source)

So, Will and I may be divorced by Tuesday afternoon...