A View From The Rubble
So, I heard the following quote yesterday on NPR and loved it.
"Kids need to think that you care, before they care what you think."
And could this not resonate for all children; from one to one hundred and twenty-two?
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"You're not watching T.V., honey..."
I LOVE that he did this. You're in the front row to see Adam Lambert and you're on your phone... That's rather pathetic.
I couldn't believe that a couple of weeks ago, while Will and I were at the movies, someone's cell phone rang AND SHE ANSWERED IT AND STARTED TALKING.
A guy got up before I could (because believe me, sister, I was ready to twirl over her like a twister and I wouldn't've missed her) and told her, "PUT THAT GOD-DAMN THING AWAY!"
And she did.
I think that if she hesitated to, it was destined to be a suppository. I know those were MY plans.
I get it if you "forget" and don't silence it. Though, you should really be more conscientious, but I do understand when people just plain forget. Or, if you managed to get a babysitter and headed to the movies and then the house caught on fire and the babysitter needed to call you to tell you that everything you own and love is in flames. I get it. But, walk out. WALK OUT. And then, we shouldn't see your ass back in the theater because you should only be answering it if it's AN EMERGENCY AND YOUR LIFE IS IN FLAMES. That would then require your immediate presence elsewhere.
Or maybe I'm being too harsh. Like... Maybe the babysitter was all, "THERE'S A HAIR-DRYER STUCK IN YOUR KID'S THROAT! WHAT DO I DO??"
And then, you're all, "Take it out... ... ... WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S "ON"?? UNPLUG IT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!! NOW, take it out... Is it out? Is he breathing? Good. Go get him some ice cream, I'm going back to the movie. Don't call me unless he swallows a tennis racket."
All of this conversation should be occurring outside the movie theater or stage play or performance - whatever fancy place you're at. Just in the event you're mis-informed.
And while I'm on the subject, people walking around the market or a store talking loudly into their cell phones, not watching where they're going, ignoring the cashier, really oblivious to everyone around them... It's rude and obnoxious.
Don't we ignore one another too much already?
It'd be kind of nice if people talked less and actually listened more.
Imagine...
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I know that this says, "Happy Birfday Doris" at the end of it, but it's the best recording I could find of her version of "It's Magic".
So, I know it's a commercially produced Holiday and I carry a fair amount of disdain for it. The pressure, the feeling of exclusion, the whole rah, rah, siss-boom-ba, rip-off-your-panties, tear-off-your-bra about it. Will and I don't really celebrate it. I mean, yes... One of us usually gets his panties ripped off and the other usually gets a bra torn, but romance and passion aside, it's still kind of a good reminder to tell those you love, that you love them, no? And in elementary school, we ALL gave one another Valentine's notes, even to those we didn't really care for. It was about just acknowledging each other.
And really, isn't that what it's ALL about?
So, while friendship isn't always "Magic". It is MOST of the time; with Will, our dogs and crazy birds, our family and friends. And that's what sustains me. So, while I don't know many of you out there. We're kindred spirits of a sort, you and I. Somewhere through the rubble of this blog, you get me, and through your visits, I get you. And maybe it reminds us we're not alone. And that's a little bit of magic right there.
(Thank you for this great Valentine's Day pic, Bubba!)
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So, a little over a week ago, Will and I went to see Tom Ford's film, "A Single Man" with our friends, Tristan and Clancy.
It was a really good film. Set in Los Angeles in the early 60's, it's very stylistic and visually compelling.
And I think Tom Ford does an excellent job of portraying the acuteness and closer scope of vision, metaphorically and literally, that we all have when tragedy strikes.
I strongly recommend seeing it at the theaters while it's out. If you haven't yet seen it, I wouldn't watch any of the clips below. But, to see the high stylization of the film, and how palpable "George's" (played by Colin Firth) heartache is on the big screen is well worth it. It will certainly lose some punch when it's viewed on a small screen, as any movie does.
After the first few minutes of the film, an older woman who was sitting in the row directly in front of us and virtually minutes away from death began talking loudly. She started, "I THINK THIS IS GAY... I THINK THIS MOVIE IS GAY... I THINK THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT GAY PEOPLE!!"
Her ultra-white-hair-covered head was bobbing up and down and turning every which way as though a wreaking ball was going to take her out at any minute. She continued on her rant for the hearing-impaired, "I'M PRETTY SURE THIS MOVIE IS GAY! I'M GOING TO SEE IF I CAN GET MY MONEY BACK!!"
She got up, climbed over 5 people, disrupting everyone and stormed out of the theater never to return. Her permanent exit had NOTHING to do with me following her and stuffing her into a garbage can in the Ladies' Restroom, if you're wondering.
We actually thought it was quite funny and we all guffawed over it.
I have always enjoyed placing the elderly into trash cans. It's a favorite past-time of mine.
So, anyway, during the film, "George and Jim's" 16 year relationship really wasn't taken seriously. Even by the people closest to them. And that was heart-breaking in its own regard.
It was a beautiful film and though it was melancholy, I didn't feel sad so much as I felt grateful. Reminded how temporary it all is... Reminded to be thankful for this very moment, for that's all we really have.
After the film, the four of us went for sushi. And at the dinner table, "Tristan and Clancy" presented us with a card, which also contained a generous gift card inside to one of our favorite shops. It was in honor of our marriage, which they felt they hadn't properly acknowledged. "Tristan and Clancy" are a heterosexual couple, if you're wondering.
We both objected, saying that they didn't have to go through any trouble and that it really wasn't necessary...
They said it wasn't any trouble and it was necessary.
Well, when we opened the card, the front of it said, "BELIEVE".
And on the inside,
"Believe in your dreams. Believe in your love. Believe in forever.
Have a Happy Marriage.
With Love Always,
Clancy and Tristan"
And suddenly, I had a hard time holding back the tears from my dampened eyes...
Some of my oldest, dearest friends (gay and straight), still refer to Will as my "boyfriend". And while I don't refer to him as my "husband", but rather as my "partner". He is. He IS my husband. And I am his.
And acknowledgment from those you love can send one's spirit SOARING. And I was reminded of that.
Thank you... THANK YOU, "Clancy and Tristan". With your belief in us, you help us to believe in ourselves. And that's the biggest gift anyone can ever give...
* "UNCLE! UNCLE!!"
* Where Love Flies
* "I Kevin, Take You Will, To Be Seven Letters..."
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