Quit With The Gay Babies Already

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This hysterical (and very true) contribution comes to us from our gorgeous, hottie-pa-tottie correspondent in the field, Nahnie. Her name really isn't "Nahnie", but her name does remind me of one of my beloved nieces, who used to call herself "Nahnie" when she was just a little shit.

If someone took her blanket, she'd yell at the top of her lungs, "NAHNIE'S!!"

And we'd be all like, "Umm... Okay, Satan, here's your blanket back."

And if someone was holding her Puffalump Kitty, she'd contort that sweet, cherub face and bare her three teeth and yell, "Nahnie's! NAHNIE'S MISTER KITTY!!!"

And we'd be all like, "Jesus Christ, here's your fucking kitty." Which she would promptly choke, taking out her frustrations that her little sister had been born.

And if someone pulled in their driveway just to turn around, her little ass would be standing at the door grasping onto her blanket, clutching onto Mister Kitty by the throat, glaring out at the perpetrators yelling, "NAHNIE'S!! NAHNIE'S DRIVEWAY!!"

And they'd speed away with fear in their eyes, frightened that the two foot bride of Chuckie was going to unleash her wrath.

So, Nahnie, thank you for this contribution. Everyone? It's Nahnie's contribution. NAHNIE'S!!!

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Unbridled Greed

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Stop the bribes! Demand clean energy.

Fucking ridiculous: Oil executives sent a strong challenge to Barack Obama on Tuesday, warning at a major oil conference that the American president's ban on risky deepwater drilling would cripple world energy supplies.

This OUTLANDISH, RECKLESS, narrow-minded philosophy shouldn't be tolerated anymore. It's mere greed.

WHO the hell cares about "energy supplies" when THIS is where we're going to be living...

Stop the bribes! Demand clean energy.

These people are criminals (not the kids in the garbage dump, bishes). Republicans and democrats alike... The executives and the apathetic. They're all guilty. They're sponsoring and condoning crimes against the environment and thus humanity. There is no separation between the two. We have no other place to live...

Sound dramatic? Absolutely.

It's because it IS.

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