sanitarium for president

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“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”

~ Isaac Asimov

Truest thing I've read in an awfully long time...

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Perry Is So Very... (RETARDED)

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Texas Faces Massive Wildfires, Record Drought as Gov. Rick Perry Denies Existence of Global Warming Texas Gov. Rick Perry was back on the campaign trail at last night’s Republican presidential debate, where he questioned the science behind human-caused global warming. On Wednesday, Perry announced he was returning home to focus on a historic wildfire season in which some 3.6 million acres have burned—an area larger than the size of Connecticut. Perry has used the crisis to complain the federal government is not acting fast enough to assist firefighters, but critics have been quick to note the governor has slashed the budget for the Texas Forest Service, the first line of fire defense for most of the state. The wildfires come amidst a record drought. The state has seen its driest consecutive months since record keeping began in 1895, and the impact on the state’s agricultural industry has been devastating. We speak with Forrest Wilder, reporter with The Texas Observer. His latest article on this is "Texas’ Permanent Drought: Our Water Deficit Didn’t Start with this Drought. And It Won’t End with this Drought.

You've got to be a complete, fucking moron to not grasp and understand the catastrophic consequences of human mass pollution.

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What Went Down Upstairs...

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OOOhhhh, SMACK! Take THAT, J to the C to the esus to the hrist!! YEEAAHHH, BISH!!

Dang...

(Thank you for this contribution, Beave... And THANK YOU, Mr. Mysterious Dead Wrestle Guy with the star on his peeper. That was a close one, bishes...) ********************************

Imminent Rupture #3 (The Day of The Aneurysm)

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So, our dashing correspondent in D.C., Dickie, was lovely enough to contribute this video (which actually happens to be for real) for our viewing pleasure before we're all tortured and killed, then suffer in hell for all time.

At least we'll all be together.

So, yes... I think it's a bit on the kookie side, but that's just me. As usual, what steals the show for me are some of the comments. We probably don't have much time, so shall we get started? Good... I was hoping you'd say that.

Well, Jamess1b said, "Shouldn't you be volunteering to euthanize their pets instead? Those of us left are supposed to be tortured for the next 6 months, then off to hell."

Oh, Mr. 1b, VERY good point. It crossed my mind, but you said it. And is it 6 months? Shit. I totally thought it was three...

And Weasel77111 inquired, "What piece is that playing in the background?"

Oh, Weasel... I LOVE IT that you're not concerned about anything but the music.

And SisterDiggins said, "But why would anyone leave their pets entrusted to non believers?"

Well, Sister... Miss Diggins if you're nasty, WHO ELSE are they going to leave them to? Huh? Yeah... That's what I thought.

And BiancaBeth said, "I try to respect other's religious views but this one is insane, IMHO." (Wow. Okay, Bianca, good so far...) "God is good, remember." (Damn it... She was so close. So, she continues...) "All of you who EXPECT to be 'taken away', find a friend/relative who is NOT invited & ask them to care for your pets. Don't pay these scammer companies. I feel certain your pets - and you - will be back together next week. PLEASE don't kill your beloved pets to 'save them' from your absence. You will grieve for the loss."

Oh Jesus Christ, Bianca... I had hopes for you.

Okay, now Violetta gives me hope again, "This is a SCAM! The'll take your money N run. Anybody would be foolish to believe this." (Cool so far... But then,...) "GOD created the animals as well as humans; He has a master plan for everything, and nothing anyone tries to do will stop him. The time to believe is now. Wake up before it's too late."

Damn it, Violetta. No one is going to stop him, huh? I mean, we can't even try talking with him?? He's just beyond reason, huh? Okay... Well, what if I try distracting him. Like, I'll be wearing something skimpy, so I can keep dropping my pencil and doing the bend and snap to pick it up and while he's looking at my ass you can... clobber him or trip him or something... I just don't think we should give up without a fight.

MJ Morrey gets jiggy with it, "ahahahahahahahah i love it!"

p0nch0man said, "Ima sell all your pets to the highest Chinese Food Restaurant bidder!"

That's just mean, p0nch0. Why would you stress them out right before they had to go up in the air like that? They're probably already nervous about flying and then you have to go and say that...?

And nark123123 inquired, "what about the pet gerbil in my anus wont he be raptured up with me?"

Look, Mr. 123123 (or is one of the "123's" your middle name?), I'm guessing you're going to have to fart him out on the way up.

Cinnamombunz tried to reason with these people, "No, this is a kind of 'Rapture - leave your responsibilities to somebody else and hope they follow through for free out of the goodness of their hearts'. It certainly is not 'insurance'. If you really believed in this, I would think you'd make sure your pet was with the person who was going to take care of it BEFORE you leave. Waiting until you go seems like hedging your bets to me . . ."

I LOVE IT when morons try a "logical" approach. Stick to pastries, Ms. Bunz.

And makezmuzic said, "I hope you're making sure not to eat. They just found a lost scripture that says you must have a completely empty stomach to be taken up. Just in case the days are off, you should probably stop eating now."

And daughterofzion7 replied to makezmuzic, "I don't know what your talking about there is no rapture may 21st Its false doctrince and false teaching so why would i stop eating? It dosent say that in the bible either that you have to stop eating to be a christian or to have god rescue you in any way. It's all lies I suggest you stop listening to the lies."

YEAH, MAKEZMUZIC, YEAH! The food thing is COMPLETELY false doctrine! You tell her, Daughterofzion. And by the way, is Zion your dad? Like THE "Zion"?? Totally cool guy. I knew him back in the day.

Squishy34 confessed, "I think I just peed a little laughing."

Don't worry, Squishy, the fire will dry that.

TheParam3dic said, "Fucking, horseshit. The bible also says unbaptized babies go to hell."

Well, 3dic, I for one can tell you that the last time I was in hell, there were babies all over the place. And they were ASSHOLES. SO MEAN. Have you ever seen a really mean baby on fire??? Trust me... You don't want to. They will fuck your shit up.

annabelle2ful said, "I believe in Christ and the bible, but have no faith in tomorrow's prediction of Judgement Day. My cat isn't going anywhere and neither am I. No man knows the day or the hour. What confuses me are all the ridiculing parties and celebrations that are planned this weekend. What's up with that? I thought atheists were moral and ethical people."

Okay, look, Annabelle2ful, first of all, don't eat so much. If you have "2ful" as your last name, that's a bad sign, because there's something going around about an empty stomach. Just to be on the safe side, you know? And second of all, the "ridiculing parties and celebrations" planned are what's CONFUSING YOU? Besides that monster to tackle, aren't people allowed to laugh anymore? I mean, if the rest of us are going to be tortured, killed and burn forever, can we not at least laugh a little before hand? Where's the love, Annabelle? And when did it become immoral and unethical to make fun of tards anyway? Oh. That's right. Shit... I forgot about that memo. Sorry. WELL, these "ridiculing parties and celebrations"? WHY WASN'T I INVITED??? Heellloooo... Thanks a lot, bishes. I'm actually a lot of fun at parties. I hardly EVER throw up and rarely, rarely break anything.

And POOONA said, "LMFAO...... I am sad i didnt come up with this idea first!! Its full proof cos there are no refunds either way!!! because if (a) the rapture occurs on saturday well they get to keep the money anyways (b) if it doesnt occur... well they have a no refund policy because the rapture will happen somewhere in the future!! :)

Genius"

Yes, "Pooona", completely "genius". Yes, that's what first came to my mind too. Just beyond brilliant. I mean, Einstein couldn't have done better. And by the way, it's FOOLproof.

And Moxormog was beyond rebellious and said, "lol fuck god"

That's really sweet, Moxor.

And avrlj28 was just wise and to the point, "This is a very sad day for the people who actually believe this rubbish. Yes the Lord will come and take his people but not until the signs have been completed as fortold in Revelation. I can bet you all your money that you have accumulated from poor ingorant people that there will be no rapture this saturday at all and that this is a major big Hoax!! (all proceeds will go to wwf) Noone knows when the Lord will come to collect his people and not even his son Jesus."

Yeah, you guys... Jesus doesn't even know!

But drrylinflyn said, "Fortunately my pets will be fine since I'm an atheist."

Yeah, but Drryl, I'm pretty sure you're going to be tortured then you're going to hell.

And Smurfieboo said, "Wait, won't the caretakers be too busy killing eachother and burning in huge lakes of fire to worry about your pets?"

EXACTLY, Smurfieboo! Mr. 1b said basically the same thing. Our points exactly.

Defeaterofgames, "LMAOOOO Bible is Stupid and so is this Suck my devil cock."

Umm... Defeater? I think we can all agree that you're going to have a great seat in you know where.

Lilvoodoo asked, "I heard you can bring a pet to heaven like bring a child to work day. any one confirmed this yet?"

Not yet, Lilvoodoo. I called and left a message, but haven't heard back yet. If I were you, it's easier to ask for forgiveness, than to ask for permission. So, just bring 'em.

And goregrrrl said, "OMG. I love how the skeptical Christians are separating themselves from the "crazies". You believe in the rapture too, you're just not predicting the date, dumbfucks. This is how crazy all of you are, you're exactly this nutty, look in the mirror."

And MsEdotscott asked quite seriously, "Is this a joke?"

No, MsEdotscott, it's not. Repent and buy the insurance RIGHT FUCKING NOW, bish.

And Duurrggll said, "The fact that people still believe in nonsensical cults like Christianity, Judaism, the easter bunny, tells us that mankind still has a long way to go..."

OMG. That reminds me. The poor Easter Bunny! He's fucked! All that work and this is the thanks he gets. I'm starting to think that god just wants "yes" people around...

And nark123123 was completely irritated at being ignored and said, "no one has answered my anus gerbil related question. this is serious business, people."

And ClassAFridge said, "I'm very sad these people are morons... And applause the people at rapture pet care taking advantage of them! Good job guys! We both know the whole "may21-judgement day" is bull!!!!"

Aahh, Mr. Fridge, but do we?

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Imminent Rupture #2

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Hurry up, Bishes!! WE'RE CUTTING RIGHT NOW!!

Oh...

Wait a minute...

We're totally gay.

Never mind.

I'd better go put on something skimpy.

HA! SILLY GOOSES!!

I ALREADY HAVE something skimpy on!

What's wrong with you? You should've known that...! Well, I guess I'm all set to be tortured for the next 3 months, then burn in hell for eternity. I'd better pack some snacks.

The Rapture: Because some Christians will do anything to avoid actually following those pesky liberal teachings of Jesus.

~ John Fugelsang

**************** (Special Thanks to Greg for the image, and Beny for the Fugelsang quote.) ************************************

Where Violence Is Born

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Lifting the Mormon Curtain...

Boyd K. Packer, the second-highest leader in the Mormon Church, said in a sermon broadcast to millions yesterday that same-sex attraction is "impure and unnatural" and can be overcome, and that same-sex unions are morally wrong.

Do we need more proof than the suicides of teens as young as 13 that words like these can do unimaginable damage?

We cannot stay silent. By speaking out together, we can show the Mormon Church hierarchy that it has literally risked the lives of children by inciting their tormentors. And we can ensure that the young people who heard this sermon know that it is scientifically wrong and profoundly misguided.

Add your name to our open letter debunking Boyd Packer's lies.

Speaking before 20,000 people and broadcasting to millions more, Packer said same-sex unions are morally wrong and "against God's law and nature" – and that the church hierarchy would continue to support marriage bans like Proposition 8 (which was funded largely by Mormons).

It makes me physically sick to think how many young lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender kids had to sit in those pews and listen to that venom.

Comments like these are exactly what makes young LGBT kids think there's no way out but suicide – that their parents will reject them, that their communities will shun them, and that living openly will bring pain or violence – that even God looks on their very identity as a sin to be "overcome."

And these lies fuel the bullying, harassment, and violence that plague our schools.

Packer's lies have been disproven over and over again by science and by the spiritual experience of Americans who know their LGBT neighbors and care about them. We know sexual orientation cannot and should not be changed and that two people falling in love is beautiful, not evil.

But unless we refute these lies whenever groups like the anti-LGBT National Organization for Marriage (NOM) and the Mormon Church repeat them – whether through letters like this or projects like HRC's www.NOMexposed.com – we risk another young person hearing them and believing that LGBT people are "defective." And that belief contributes to violence and suicide.

Please add your name to our open letter showing the Mormon Church hierarchy that it has risked further alienating vulnerable LGBT youth with potentially devastating consequences. ~ via The Human Rights Campaign

Funny. Take the small "m" out and you just have "Moron". And take the "d" out and you just have "Boy Packer". Coincidence? I bet a birthmark strongly resembling 666 is somewhere near where his brain should be. CHECK HIS SCALP, PEOPLE!

It's like The Matrix. All these people plugged into some mind-numbing cults. Not thinking for themselves... Control, control, control... fear, fear, fear, which results in hate, hate, hate.

And we all know what that leads to.

So, god gave us religion? But then, the devil came along and organized it.

* Source of image. ***************************

Target and Best Buy Can Eat Shit

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Target and Best Buy have donated over $250,000 to a political committee supporting a rabidly anti-equality candidate for Governor of Minnesota, where both are headquartered – a man with ties to a Christian rock band that advocates violence and death to gays. Some "Christians"... Funny how quickly they want to kill. I'm sure Christ loves that.

So yeah... Target and Best Buy can suck it. And if you're so inclined to sign a petition telling them so, please do.

Because signing this shit? Does work. There's a total backlash against Target - and those a-holes are feeling it.

And the latest poll? New Poll Shows Majority Favor Gay Marriage - via NPR

Well, spank my bottom and pull my hair a little...

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