HERCULANEUM

There, there, sweetheart... You should be crying... I'd be crying too if I were just crowned MISS COMPLETE FUCKING JACKASS. I'm only half of one... a runner-up, if you will. But, you... YOU! You're just a disaster, Gretchen!! AND YOU'VE WON! YOU'VE WON!!

Unfortunately, it's your viewers who've lost.

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"Next thing you know, a guy will be straddling me."

Oh please... Dude... that was such an idiotic thing to say. DUMB, really...

So, yes. You guys have all probably heard about how Sacha Baron Cohen came flying through the air at the MTV Movie Awards,

Slowly losing air-speed,

and dive-bombing the audience before

he landed

ass up

in Eminem's face.

I've never seen any of Sacha Cohen's work. Never have seen "Borat" or any of his other characters, although I'd like to. And I really don't know much about Mr. Eminem, so I can't say how I feel about him one way or the other. But, when I saw the stunt on The Daily Show, I did think that it was pretty funny.

But, that wasn't the extent of it, as you may have seen if you watched the above clip. There's a few more asses to be seen that are so fucking stupid they're actually hysterical.

And here's the queen of them:

Ms. Gretchen Carlson (Does she not look like she's going to "snort like a piggy" at any moment??? COME ON!! Snort like a piggy, Gretchie!! Come on little piggy! You can do it! Oink! Oink! Oink! Oink! Oink!)

I thought what was rather humorous was when I was searching for images of her, this one came up;

It must be what she looks like before hair and make-up and coffee.

You be one grouchy, hairy piggy, Gretchen... Dang.

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