The World Premiere of "WANDERLUST: A History of Walking"

April 30, 2010 by Kevin Charnas in Cleveland Public Theatre, Great Theatre, Living Respectfully, Living To A Hundred, Matthew Earnest, Rebecca Solnit, SOHO Think Tank - Ohio..., The Magnificence of Wa..., William Bezek

We're going to New York, bishes! That's right, we'll be performing in SOHO, July 14th thru July 17th.

Am I excited, you ask? Well, I keep whizzing in my panties, so maybe... But then again, it might be the booze. At least I'm not whizzing in other people's panties. Although, that would be fine too. And god knows I've tried.

So, until July in NYC, from May 8th thru the 29th, you can catch us at Cleveland Public Theatre. And if you come, I promise not to whizz in your panties. Not while you're looking anyway.

Nicole Perrone (Photo Credit: Steve Wagner)

“I like walking because it is slow, and I suspect that the mind, like the feet, works at about three miles an hour. If this is so, then modern life is moving faster than the speed of thought – or thoughtfulness.”

CPT is proud to present the World Premiere of
WANDERLUST: A HISTORY OF WALKING

Adapted + Directed by Matthew Earnest
from the book by Rebecca Solnit

Onstage in the James Levin Theatre May 8 - May 29 at 7:30PM
(with paid previews May 6 and 7; a matinee on Sunday May 16; and a Monday night performance on May 17)

I'm the one with the biggest nostrils. And JUST LOOK AT my handsome fellow cast members! They're beautiful. And I mean that in every sense of the word. (Photo Credit: Steve Wagner)

WANDERLUST opens with a team of paleoanthropologists examining the bones of a recently discovered 3.2 million year-old hominid they have named Lucy, and moves from the peripatetic lectures of the Greeks to modern tourism, from labyrinths to treadmills, from 19th century mountaineering to ancient religious pilgrimage, from Dr. King's civil rights marches to the cake-walk of American slaves, from Jane Austen's strolling couples to Dante's trek through purgatory, and ultimately, to Las Vegas, Solnit's symbol of a post-Walking America.

Performed by:
Kevin S. Charnas (that's me, bishes)
Alexis Generette Floyd
Trae Hicks
Nicole Perrone
Jonathan Ramos
Pandora Robertson
Adam Thatcher

Scene Design: Matthew Earnest with Curtis Young
Costume Design: Alison Garrigan
Lighting Design: Daniel Shreckengost
Sound Design: James Kosmatka
Lucy skeleton: William Bezek (She's GORGEOUS. Fantastic job, Will!)
Choreography: Matthew Earnest with the company
Stage Manager: Lindsay Carter

I'm the one with the biggest chin. (Photo Credit: Steve Wagner)

"It starts with a step and then another step and then another that add up like taps on a drum: the most obvious and the most obscure thing in the world, it wanders readily into religion, philosophy, landscape, urban policy, anatomy, allegory and heartbreak."

"Wanderlust: A History of Walking"

Well, this calls for a celebration. Wine and cowboy boots for everyone!

I'm the one with the wine and cowboy boots. (Photo credit: Matthew Earnest)

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Betty White Is A Total Badass

February 12, 2010 by Kevin Charnas in Betty White Should Hos..., Brilliant Woman, Comedy, Living To A Hundred, Living Your Best Life

Will and I were at my brother Craig's home for the Super Bowl on Sunday. I kept saying that I was excited to see it because I love basketball and hadn't watched it in years. Then, we'd all snicker and I'd say, "I know! I know! It's BASEBALL." And we'd all snicker some more and stuff more hot wings in our mouths and fight over the celery and bleu cheese dressing. We were all just really in it for the great food my brother and his wife put out and the commercials, of course.

I think the Betty White one cracked me up the most.

She is so damn funny. And as of last month, turned 88 years old.

I know you have plenty of other things to really be concerned about and whether or not Betty White ever hosts Saturday Night Live really isn't imperative. But if you're on Facebook and so inclined, there's actually a group that is vying for her to host SNL.

I just LOVE that she's 88 and still vibrant, bright-eyed and funny. She'd put all those other hosts that are often on there that are barely legal and just grew pubics like four years prior to shame.

Betty White to Host SNL?

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The Diagnosis

February 10, 2010 by Kevin Charnas in Grasping The Moment, James Tate, Living Respectfully, Living To A Hundred, Living Your Best Life, Poetry

Lincoln was sixty years old when the doctor told him he only had forty more years to live. He didn't tell his wife, with whom he confided everything, or any of his friends, because this new revelation made him feel all alone in a way he had never experienced before. He and Rachel had been inseparable for as long as he could remember and he thought that if she knew the prognosis she would begin to feel alone, too. But Rachel could see the change in him and within a couple of days she figured out what it meant. "You're dying," she said, "aren't you?" "Yes, I'm dying," Lincoln said, "I only have forty years." "I feel you drifting away from me already," she said. "It's the drifting that kills you," Lincoln whispered.

~ James Tate

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Old Man Leaves Party

January 25, 2010 by Kevin Charnas in Be Naked, Grasping The Moment, Living To A Hundred, Mark Strand, Poetry, What Beauty There Is I...

It was clear when I left the party
That though I was over eighty I still had
A beautiful body. The moon shone down as it will
On moments of deep introspection. The wind held its breath.
And look, somebody left a mirror leaning against a tree.
Making sure that I was alone, I took off my shirt.
The flowers of bear grass nodded their moonwashed heads.
I took off my pants and the magpies circled the redwoods.
Down in the valley the creaking river was flowing once more.
How strange that I should stand in the wilds alone with my body.

I know what you are thinking. I was like you once. But now
With so much before me, so many emerald trees, and
Weed-whitened fields, mountains and lakes, how could I not
Be only myself, this dream of flesh, from moment to moment?

~ Mark Strand (b. 1934)

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January Swimming Hole #3

January 13, 2010 by Kevin Charnas in Ice Swimming, It's Because You're A ..., Living To A Hundred, Living Your Best Life

A member of the Optimalist heath club hacks a hole into the ice covering a canal near the village of Viazynka, Belarus.

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

- Mark Twain

* January Swimming Hole #1
* January Swimming Hole #2
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The Charnas Family Puerto Rican Christmas Conga Line Tradition

December 27, 2009 by Kevin Charnas in Christmas Family Tradi..., Conga Line, Dancing As Much As You..., Jose Feliciano's Feliz..., Living To A Hundred, Living Your Best Life, Song and Dance, William Bezek

So, yesterday was a beautiful day; that crystal clear blue sky with a crisp Winter air, but I eventually became a little depressed and then unfortunately, bitchy. So, I went to bed early. As usual, Christmas had just gone too fast for my liking.

I want to share with you a Christmas family tradition that my Mother started some time back, just in the event that you either do the same, or maybe would like to adopt it for your own. Because, it's always fun. Even if at first some of us don't feel like partaking, by the end we're always glad we did. (And just for the record, this can be done with 1 or more people, including animal companions - carry them - unless they're horses or cows, then just drag them along. This can be done at any point over the Christmas season, beginning with Thanksgiving. The more opportunities, the better...)

When Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad" comes on (with my Father at the stereo's helm), my entire family (that would be at least 21 of us, give or take a few) get up, hold hands and proceed to do a conga-line through the entire house. But, we hold hands, not shoulders like a traditional conga-line. It's just easier that way and the line can move faster and cover more ground. Although, we just about bounce my parents' china cabinet over and have actually broken things before, so be forewarned.

Once the lead gets tired of leading, they dramatically turn their head the other direction, which notifies everyone behind them to turn around and start dancing in the opposite direction. The line can (and should) change direction multiple times. We dance for the duration of the song. AND we sing along with Jose at the top of our lungs and hoop and holler as well. It's as though we're possessed by Puerto Ricans/Mexicans for 3 minutes and 5 seconds. Although, I'm sure we're not as graceful and authentic as the real thing. But, we're close.

I had told Will of the family tradition long before he met everyone, but I'm not sure he was prepared for the actual event, in all its glory, to take place. When Will first came into the family and was introduced to everyone (a little overwhelming being that Will comes from a rather small, quiet family and I come from a Greek/Irish heritage that lives out loud...), we were visiting from California for Christmas.

Unfortunately enough, he was literally on the can dropping the kids off at the pool when Dad fired up the song. My oldest brother proceeded to pound on the door (this was upstairs, because the conga-line had travelled up the stairs before eventually heading back down again) every time they passed the bathroom. He kept knocking on the door yelling for Will to come out. In fact, EVERYONE was yelling for poor Will to get off the toilet and join the conga line. I think they were relishing that they had a new inductee. I was in another bathroom and knew that even though I was in a towel, just having gotten out of the shower, I had to partake. So, I danced in my towel.

And Will, being the great sport that he is, cleaned up as soon as he could and came rushing out, grabbing the last hand and danced his way down the stairs. I can only imagine he thought, "What the hell are they doing?? And what have I gotten myself into?? I can't even take a crap without these people being a part of it..."

The version of "Feliz Navidad" always must be the following version of Jose Feliciano's. Thus, the goofy video-clip. (I have NO idea who the two people are that briefly show up in the video.) I found other, more recent versions, but they're just not the same.

If you're even entertaining the thought of adopting this into your own family, I strongly encourage it. Add hats or wigs for that extra bit of icing if you'd like. All I can tell you is that it's always fun. And like conversing around a dinner table, respectfully, yet also poking fun at one another. Like laughing hard and smiling as big as you can, as often as you can, there is no substitute for dancing. And Christmas, like LIFE in general, just goes too fast not to.