Am I excited, you ask? Well, I keep whizzing in my panties, so maybe... But then again, it might be the booze. At least I'm not whizzing in other people's panties. Although, that would be fine too. And god knows I've tried.
So, until July in NYC, from May 8th thru the 29th, you can catch us at Cleveland Public Theatre. And if you come, I promise not to whizz in your panties. Not while you're looking anyway.
Nicole Perrone (Photo Credit: Steve Wagner)
“I like walking because it is slow, and I suspect that the mind, like the feet, works at about three miles an hour. If this is so, then modern life is moving faster than the speed of thought – or thoughtfulness.”
CPT is proud to present the World Premiere of WANDERLUST: A HISTORY OF WALKING
Adapted + Directed by Matthew Earnest from the book by Rebecca Solnit
Onstage in the James Levin Theatre May 8 - May 29 at 7:30PM (with paid previews May 6 and 7; a matinee on Sunday May 16; and a Monday night performance on May 17)
I'm the one with the biggest nostrils. And JUST LOOK AT my handsome fellow cast members! They're beautiful. And I mean that in every sense of the word. (Photo Credit: Steve Wagner)
WANDERLUST opens with a team of paleoanthropologists examining the bones of a recently discovered 3.2 million year-old hominid they have named Lucy, and moves from the peripatetic lectures of the Greeks to modern tourism, from labyrinths to treadmills, from 19th century mountaineering to ancient religious pilgrimage, from Dr. King's civil rights marches to the cake-walk of American slaves, from Jane Austen's strolling couples to Dante's trek through purgatory, and ultimately, to Las Vegas, Solnit's symbol of a post-Walking America.
Performed by: Kevin S. Charnas (that's me, bishes) Alexis Generette Floyd Trae Hicks Nicole Perrone Jonathan Ramos Pandora Robertson Adam Thatcher
Scene Design: Matthew Earnest with Curtis Young Costume Design: Alison Garrigan Lighting Design: Daniel Shreckengost Sound Design: James Kosmatka Lucy skeleton: William Bezek (She's GORGEOUS. Fantastic job, Will!) Choreography: Matthew Earnest with the company Stage Manager: Lindsay Carter
I'm the one with the biggest chin. (Photo Credit: Steve Wagner)
"It starts with a step and then another step and then another that add up like taps on a drum: the most obvious and the most obscure thing in the world, it wanders readily into religion, philosophy, landscape, urban policy, anatomy, allegory and heartbreak."
Au Bout de Son Latin, Written by Ryan Ramer, Directed by Kevin Stephanos Charnas (That's me, bishes.)
Sam (played by Natalie Green) is throwing a big get-together and everyone will be there: Chris (Me again, bishes.), Dallas, D.J., Austin, Pat, Casey. The audience won't actually see the party, however; the stage represents Sam's imagination, and we see only the goings-on inside Sam's head. From the subconscious to consciousness to action, watch as Sam's thoughts and feelings work their way through a broken telephone of the mind.
Written by new playwright Ryan Charles Ramer and directed by veteran Kevin Stephanos Charnas, (They called me a "veteran", dang... ), Au Bout de son Latin shows us what it is like be "at the end of our Latin" and to have no more words to express how we feel. When Sam begins to become obsessed with a love interest (me again) who arrives at the soiree, a process of mental unraveling begins as Sam tries desperately to maintain an outward composure. See how Sam discovers the foreign language of the soul in its wordless truth, and how our inner-selves can best be defined through music.
As part of CPT's commitment to local playwrights and producers, CPT presents the third year of Little Box, a series of staged readings of new work in development. Little Box is modeled after CPT's successful Big [BOX] Series but on a smaller scale, designed to foster works at an earlier stage of development.
Cleveland Public Theatre 6415 Detroit Avenue Cleveland, OH Sunday, November 15th 3:00pm The Storefront Studio
So, that's where my stank ass will be performing tomorrow, all y'alls.
Playwright, Ryan Ramer has done a brilliant job of writing a play that I'm rather in love with... And working with Ryan and Natalie Green (who plays "Sam") has truly been my pleasure. They make it very easy. If you're so inclined and able, please come. I'm certain that you'll enjoy it. And if you don't? Well... I'll pull your hair or something like that. But, if I have to spank your bottom, that costs extra.
The "Little Box" series has been selling out, so they recommend that you get there 30 minutes early. For those of our friends and family in California who want to attend, you guys better leave yesterday... or right now at the latest.
So, back in August, I was fortunate enough to be hired by Cleveland Public Theatre via Independent Contract as an assistant director/writer/artist collaborator for a special project that they run.
We were in development for a while, then rehearsals and now we've been on the "tour" for a week. Last week's performances were at Y-Haven itself and this week began with a performance at the Juvenile Detention Center last night.
You may remember, me previously talking about my great admiration for Cleveland Public Theatre and their work. I knew that it was a fantastic program for the men in recovery. But, selfishly, it's been an unbelievable, enriching experience for me. A great reminder of how much I don't know about life and the people in it. One that I hoped would be rewarding, but I don't think I realized the magnitude of the emotional energy I would put into the project or into being a part of these men's lives for almost 3 months.
I'm certain that what I'll take away from the experience will far out-weigh what I'm putting into it, but currently being in the midst of it, I need some time to let things percolate before I'm able to express myself thoroughly.
So, until that time, The Story of Baby20
HOMELESS MEN IN TRANSITION CREATE A NEW THEATRE PIECE BASED ON THEIR JOURNEYS TOWARD RECOVERY NOVEMBER 5 - 8, 2009 Performances are FREE and open to the public (Suggested $5 donation to support the project.)
Cleveland Public Theatre and Y-Haven present The Story of Baby20 Cleveland Public Theatre's Education Department and the Cleveland YMCA's Y-Haven Program present The Story of Baby20, the 2009 CPT/Y-Haven Theatre Project.
For the tenth year in a row, CPT, Cleveland's leading alternative theatre, and Y-Haven, YMCA's transitional housing center for homeless men in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction, have collaborated to create this original performance. CPT Artists work with residents of Y-Haven to create an original play performed by the residents and based on their personal experiences. This year's production is guided by Director Denis Griesmer and Writer Kevin Charnas (that's me, bishes).
About the play: Once there was an old man named Tom and one evening outside his door he found a baby. Thus begins The Story of Baby20. Tom is compelled to follow the instructions on a note pinned on the baby, "Return to Owner." He begins a journey across the city and through his memory; a quest that forces him to remember things about his past he'd long since made himself forget. The tale turns when the baby grows into a man over a single night. What will the morning bring? Who is Baby20? Who is Tom? Is it all a dream? The Story of Baby20 is about the haunting power of human memory and its influence over our identity and our ability to change.
An audience favorite year after year, the CPT/Y-Haven Theatre Project offers candid insight into important issues of our society and gives real hope for growth and change. Audiences are continually blown-away by the poignant and moving stories presented by this powerful collaboration.
So, now it marks 24 hours that I've been lying on the floor in my underwear with a milk jug full of piss in the corner.
I know, you'd think it was Saturday night at the Charnas house again... Or rather, Sunday morning. Half-crushed beer cans lying about, empty boxes of wine, pieces of rope lying here and there and all around the queer, ripped panties and tufts of hair blowing about the room, and me waking up with my face stuck to the floor and a cigarette butt stuck in my ear and a Twister Mat half jammed in my ass.
But no.
I've thrown my back out again. I was doing something really, REALLY dangerous and exciting. I'm not sure if I should even tell you, it's so scary!
Okay, since you're pressuring me, I'll tell you.
I was putting a tee-shirt in a bag.
I KNOW! I KNOW!! I was just ASKING for trouble putting that tee-shirt in that bag! WHAT. WAS. I. THINKING???
The truth of the matter is, I was working out in the yard the day before for a good 5 hours, AND worked out on top of that. I stretched that night before bed (AND NO! NOT MY HOLE!... MOM!), but yesterday morning I did not stretch. And I was rushing around doing shit.
Big mistake.
I have to stretch multiple times a day, (AND NO! NOT MY HOLE!... MOM, STOP IT!!) otherwise, my lower back decides to TOTALLY FUCK ME OVER!
THANKS A LOT, LOWER BACK!! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!! WELL.... You FUCKING AREA JUST ABOVE MY ASSHOLE!!
I can't believe I just yelled at my lower back.
Actually, yes I can. I've yelled at my nose before.
And my elbow. I've been known to get in a BIG OLE BRAWL with my elbow before.
And my ears. I've yelled at my ears pretty bad before too. But, that's rather counter-productive. They just start ringing. The left one says to the right one, "JUST START RINGING! THAT'LL SHUT THIS JACKASS UP!!"
And it usually does.
Now, my penis? I've NEVER yelled at my penis before. Except maybe I've strongly suggested to him to behave in public from time to time. He just stands there until I smack him around for awhile, then he hangs his head in shame...
And my poor balls. Whenever I've had to give my peep a strong talking to, the balls are always such innocent bystanders looking at me like, "What? We're just hanging out. Don't be looking at us!" And they try to hide behind some hair.
So anyway, I'm lying on the floor, my back going in and out of spasms. I've had to pee into a milk jug because I can't stand up. The milk was all gone, if you're wondering. And then, poor Will has to dump it.
It's bumming me out. I've been in really great shape this year (up until now). And I had to cancel going into work yesterday. And I believe that slipping into those leather pants tomorrow night and pulling a rickshaw around shirtless at Pandemonium is out of the question, DAMN IT!!!
I was extremely excited to still be asked to perform shirtless, let alone be a little bitch pulling around a rickshaw.
And then, I was even MORE excited to tell you all about it. But, NNNOOOOO....
SO, as I was lying here yesterday, I thought, what would make me happy? 'Cause I'm pissed.
And I thought of this guy:
He made me happy some years ago. And he STILL makes me happy...
And the original dudes? I never knew who they were, but here they are, looking all of 15 and awkward with their shirts all unbuttoned down to their navels hanging off one another...
It's that kind of uncomfortable music video that only Romania can come up with. But still. The song makes me happy. And frustrated. Because I can't really move to it.
DAMN IT AGAIN!! YOU STUPID, SELFISH, PIECE OF SHIT LOWER BACK!! IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!
If I were to be honest right now, I'd have to say that I'd rather be yelling at my arm hair. I could just shave them off if they were getting out of line. Or my penis. I MUCH rather be yelling at my penis. And we've already established that I've NEVER done that before. Although, I shouldn't want to kill the messenger. 'Cause when it comes down to it, the balls are much more guilty than they'd admit.
So, I'm being measured for leather pants for an event/benefit that I'm in this coming Saturday night... And a rickshaw is going to be involved as well.
Anytime I hear, "Leather pants and rickshaw" in the same sentence I'm all, "SIGN ME UP, BISHES!!"
I told them that if they don't have my size, which falls under the measurements of "SMOKIN'-HOT-SUPER-PORNSTAR ASS", they can just paint them on.
Featuring dozens of area theatre, dance, visual and performance artists along with fabulous food and drink, Pandemonium is a benefit like no other and an evening not to be missed. Pandemonium's action takes place in unexpected places throughout the campus as guests decide how they choose to experience this innovative and unusual benefit! Brian E. Hall will be honored with the 2009 Pan Award, which recognizes outstanding contributions to arts and community.
CPT Executive Artistic Director Raymond Bobgan and
CPT Education Director Chris Seibert.
"Cut to Pieces is an ambitious theatrical work that integrates live performance and video projections in an affecting solo show. This innovative work begins as a classic "who-done-it" tale and quickly spirals into an epic story of the dismembering power of violence, love, and the quest for self knowledge."
Well, Will and I were invited to the show by the director and co-writer, Raymond Bobgan. I had communicated with Raymond through email when I was inquiring about Cleveland Public Theatre's programs and possibly approaching them with my own material. I was interested to learn more about their mission as a theatre and see if our philosophies coincided.
If you've been reading my work for any length of time, if I've been doing a good enough job, you've probably sifted through the rubble of my zany humor by now and hopefully have realized that my writing and acting comes from the same heart that was a social worker in the past. And actually, I really see no difference. My work now is certainly not mutually exclusive from my prior work experience. If anything, it's built upon it.
My desires and motivations when I was an orderly, a social worker, a Boatswain's Mate in the U.S. Coast Guard, a clinical researcher in Cardiology, a bartender, an instructor for at-risk teenage Latinos in California, all the way to my work at U.C. Santa Barbara, and acting and writing along the way, my own mission has never swayed given the vast array of job titles that I've carried. (my bio)
I've ALWAYS wanted to help people... In whatever way I could. I wanted to ask them how they were doing, then wait for the reply. To let them know I was actually listening to them. That someone was acknowledging them.
Whether they were telling me about how their neighbors pissed them off while I poured them a gin and tonic, or whether they were upset about the texture of their wall paint on their Section 8 housing while I looked through classifieds to try and find them a job, or whether their parents were continually stealing their weed to smoke it for themselves while I was attempting to educate them on STD's and teach them that misogyny isn't cool and domestic violence and jail are only in their future if they make it so, that they actually have other options.
Or whether they just needed their asses wiped. Literally. Because I've done that too... just not as a bartender or a teacher. I was a stripper then, and that was an extra cost.
I really try (the keyword here is "try") to live by this quote:
"Whatever joy there is in this world, all comes from wanting others to be happy; and whatever suffering there is in this world, all comes from wanting oneself to be happy."
- Shantideva (8th century Buddhist poet)
And when I embrace this wisdom, and ingest it, it rings true for me. REALLY true. But, for me... I don't expect others to find the same peace in it as I do.
I don't always remember to follow this philosophy, but when I do, it takes me out of myself and brings me into the moment, joyfully. And the moment is all I have... It's the only thing real.
So, after I wrote to the theatre's website, Raymond wrote back to me. It was an elegant and sincere reply, welcoming me to the wonderful city of Cleveland. It turns out that he's originally from Santa Barbara and his parents still reside there, so we also had that in common.
I was rather stunned that I received such a sincere welcome and impressed that someone took the time. He invited me to the show and to meet to discuss my work as well.
Will and I arrived an embarrassingly 10 minutes late to meet Raymond at the theatre. He was going to give us a quick tour before the show, of the spaces that they have and give me an over-all picture of what Cleveland Public Theatre is all about. Will and I are still learning our way around the city and haven't quite gotten down how long it usually takes to get to certain places. Thus, the 10 minutes late.
Once we arrived, I profusely apologized for our tardiness, but Raymond's demeanor was as gracious as the words in his email. Beth Wood, the Assistant Artistic Director was there as well, and seemed just as kind and welcoming.
Raymond showed us the spaces that they have and talked about their mission and programs and I was invigorated. It echoed songs of my heart. As corny as it sounds, it's true. Our philosophies jibed and I feel as though I've found kindred spirits.
Well, after the tour, we took our seats for the play, "Cut To Pieces", but instead, witnessed magic, as any great art will present.
Chris Seibert and
Raymond Bobgan took us on a sobering journey, but not without the aides of humor, music and film and true artistry that culminated in an evening of brilliant story-telling.
Chris Seibert was very much at home in her portrayal of the characters; and they were distinct and vibrant, yet familiar. Her channeling of them was natural and approachable and her craft, easy to watch. The narrator was strong, yet vulnerable... and was just as surprised by the chain of events as the audience, but not unlike the audience, was better from the outcome.
The topic, dreadful and tragic, yes... But, not without redemption, not without a light at the end of the tunnel... It may have not been a bright light, but there was light. More than enough to see by... And being reluctant passengers on the trip, Ms. Seibert and Mr. Bobgan made the travel arrangements as comfortable as possible given the subject. And really, the only way that the light at the end of a tunnel is so welcoming, is because you had to go through the dark tunnel in the first place. Otherwise, it would just be another light and you really wouldn't know the difference.
This play accomplishes what all inspiring art does... It makes the unbearable, bearable.
If you're in the area, I strongly encourage you to go see this play. However, if you don't want to be challenged or taken out of your comfort zone, if you don't wish for some spiritual evolution while being entertained by a dynamic actor, then I would just encourage you to turn on your T.V.
