"A Wiki of Dicks"
FINALLY, a source of information worth reading!
Some examples:
MICHELE BACHMANN
"Michele Marie Bachmann (born April 6, 1956) is a Republican Congresswoman from Minnesota, a former Senator, a homophobe, and a dick.
In addition to being a dick, Bachmann's track record has proven she is also a full-fledged nutjob. The type of person that makes you turn to your friend the moment she gets up to use the bathroom and mouth "She's craaaaaaazy," complete with hand motions and bug-eyes.
While Bachmann has always been a local dick, she didn't come onto the national dick scene until the 2008 election when she accused Barack Obama and many members of Congress of being "anti-American."
Like her pal Palin, Bachmann is deceptively attractive. While Palin is attractive in a "if she just put down that gun, took off those glasses, and started forming complete sentences" sort of way, Bachmann has the whole girl next door thing working for her. But only if you grew up next to an insane asylum.
Bachmann has claimed that many of her career moves have been dictated by messages from God. Abraham, Moses...Michele Bachmann. That sounds about right." (Please, read on)
Or, there's
DICK CHENEY
"Richard Bruce Cheney (born January 30, 1941) is a former United States Congressman, Secretary of Defense, the 46th Vice President of the United States and a dick. He also served as White House Chief of Staff, and in the private sector was the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Halliburton Energy Services. Every decision he has ever made has been wrong.
Early life and family
Cheney was born in Lincoln, Nebraska, to Richard Herbert Cheney and Marjorie Dickey (sic). His family later moved to Wyoming. In 1959, he matriculated to Yale University, where it was thought to be impossible to flunk out. After flunking out, Cheney returned to Wyoming in 1960. He ended up graduating from the University of Wyoming at the age of twenty-four, the perfect age for a young black man to serve his country in the army.
In 1964, Cheney married Lynne Vincent, his high school sweetheart. Mrs. Cheney would go on to become an accomplished dick in her own right, serving as the Chair of the National Endowment for the Humanities, a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, and a writer of filthy pulp novels about lesbian sex and rape. The Cheneys have two daughters, Elizabeth and Mary, also dicks. Mary Cheney is an attractive though somewhat tomboy-ish femme lesbian. Her partner, Heather Poe, looks a bit like Dad. Mary Cheney and Heather Poe have one child." (Please, read on)
And of course, there's
SARAH PALIN
"Sarah Palin began her shockingly easy ascent from second place in a beauty pageant to potential second-in-command of the world’s largest nuclear arsenal from her birth on February 11, 1964, a birthday she shares with Burt Reynolds, Jeb Bush, Sheryl Crow, and TV’s Moesha, who also had her share of run-ins with unplanned pregnancy. Born Sarah Louise Heath in Sandpoint, Idaho, Palin grew up mostly in Wasilla, Alaska, a town that has also given the world porn actress April Flowers, star of such classics as Dead Men Don’t Wear Rubbers, Sodomania Slop Shots 9, and 100% Blowjobs 32, 26, 21, and, to a lesser extent, 18. As a student and basketball player at Wasilla High School, she earned the nickname “Sarah Barracuda,” presumably for her powerful jaws, bony web-like fins, and small smooth scales.
In 1984, Palin won the Miss Wasilla Pageant, a feat that sounds a lot more impressive than it is unless you’ve ever met a girl from Wasilla, few of whom have either a full set of teeth or a vacant womb. She then finished runner up in the Miss Alaska pageant, a feat that sounds a lot more impressive than it is considering the state is nearly 75% male." (Please, keep reading)
(And for all of you conservatives out there, they lambaste liberals as well. And possibly your favorite entertainer or athlete.)
Not even the Olympics are spared.
Olympic Games
"The Olympic Games (born 776 BC) is an international multi-sport event, a contest to see which country’s chemists can concoct the least-detectable performance-enhancing drugs, brought to you by Visa—it’s everywhere you want to be—and a dick.
The original Olympic Games first took place in 776 BC in Olympia, Greece, the same year Ashur-Dan III succeeded his brother Shalmaneser IV as king of Assyria. (Coincidence?) Outlawed by the Romans in AD 393, the modern international Olympics started up again some 1500 years later, sponsored in part by Greek businessman Evangelos Zappas and Taco Bell, who remind you to think outside the bun.
To some, the Olympics are an opportunity for the nations of the world to come together in peace; to others they are a telltale sign of continuing globalization, and the unequal distribution of resources. To everyone, the Olympics are an excellent excuse to sit on the couch for two straight weeks firmly convinced you’re doing something worthwhile.
Notwithstanding, the Olympics have continued to thrive, with each successive Games adding more events, tighter lycra-spandex uniforms, and, as a result, increasingly egregious camel toe, or, in the case of male athletes, “moose knuckles.”
Participation in the Games has increased to the point that nearly every nation on earth is represented, even if it’s just one “athlete,” in one dinky event like the women’s 10m air pistol. This growth has caused numerous challenges, including boycotts, performance enhancing drugs, bribery, terrorism, and seriously mismatched commentators like Bill Walton covering co-ed speedwalking.
Thanks to the Olympics, no one really cares that Russia bombed the hell out of Georgia, that former vice presidential candidate John Edwards turns out to be a bastard factory, or that they finally unveiled a long-overdue bronze statue of the Fonz in Milwaukee." (Please, keep reading)
(Thank you for the heads-up on this, Fred! It's brilliant.)
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