HERCULANEUM

SSHAA-ZAAMM! Every party needs one of these a-holes. Just hide the crystal. Actually, just hide everything you don't want broken except the liquor. Keep that out. *******************

Papasan must not be here... Lap pillows? With skirts?? I don't even want to know what's up those skirts. I take that back. Yes, I do.

And just in case those aren't pervy enough,

If you like your lovers dressed in something frilly and without a torso... ********************

Well, well, well... I know ONE pillow that's a little bit excited about something... Guess what naughty pillow's sleeping with Mommy tonight...? *********************

Okay, NOW that poor pillow is just embarrassed and feels inadequate. What's up with the ropes? To hold it back from doing serious damage? 'Cause it could. I think that thing could take on Godzilla. And what's up with those... boomerangs tied up near the... top? When that thing starts whirling around, do those turn into like... Chinese throwing stars or something? **********************

No, no, NO! YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG! And stop pointing out the obvious. It's step-ball-change, then barrel roll! How many times do I have to tell you?

See?

Even this loud-mouthed bunny knows. Giraffes and ducks no NOTHING of choreography! Oh sure, they SAY they do. But, they don't. YOU'RE ALL LIARS!!! I can't work like this... ***********************

Yuk.

That's exactly what I thought too. ***********************

Dude. A Lightening bolt out of your thumb or elbow? Really? It would've been FAR more interesting if it were coming out your a-hole, albeit combined with the gas, more dangerous.

Speaking of a-holes...

Please let me introduce a couple of them. That unfortunate baby... Note to baby: Just because you come from a-holes, doesn't mean you have to BE one.

And maybe one more a-hole for the road...

Jesus Christ... Nice going, Dad. Let me guess, you secretly thought JonBenet Ramsey was hot. And are mermaid's nipples green? WHO thought this was okay??? ***********************

What the F kind of statue is THIS? Does this commemorate all the people who like to hide stuff in their holes? Or does it commemorate all the people who like to hide stuff in other people's holes...? Or is this just the international statue for fisting? **************************

What EVERYONE should do on a Monday:

TAKE 'EM COWBOY!! You CAN DO IT!! I hope this is me one day. I realize that I'm the only one holding myself back from this kind of achievement. So, the tall white guy in the white shirt, back center thinks this is great. It's too much to ask for that those policemen are using cattle prods, isn't it? And then look at the guy with the shield on the left. He's all looking down at the guy's peeper. He's all like, "Hheerrrooo, Sailor. I just found my next husband." Or something along those lines. "Sailor" would probably be more like "SaiRor". I was afraid that if I put the "r" in it to begin with, you wouldn't know what the herr I was tarking about. You stirr probabry don't. **********************

Holy crap. Nice tongue. I don't care what the hell your name is, that you're missing half your teeth and don't say a god damn word, you'll just ruin everything, just come over and get busy. *********************

I... Umm... I just... Oh, dear... WHO dressed her? And is THAT a giant lump of pubes? Clip it, bish. I mean, Crip it, bish. *********************

Okay, R2-D2, your hole is totally off-center. I bet that catches A LOT of people off-guard. Slut. And if you tell me that you shoot something out of there, I'm going to slap that control panel clean off you. *********************

Why do we do this shit to animals? **********************

*** A Collection of WTFs For Thursday… #3 *** A Collection Of WTFs For Friday (And The "Lots of Skin Edition") *** A Collection Of WTFs For Thursday... #2 *** A Collection Of WTFs For Thursday... *** A Collection Of WTFs For Wednesday... #2 *** A Collection Of WTFs For Wednesday...

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