Making The Unbearable, Bearable (Most of This is a Repost)

So, last night Will and I were fortunate enough to go with some of our posse, Tristan and Clancy to Cleveland Public Theatre to see a one-woman play. We originally saw this work two years ago shortly after we moved to Cleveland. What I previously wrote about it (below) is still just as relevant, so if you'll indulge me, I'm reposting. However, before we get to that, what we DID DO afterward that was different was go to the newly opened authentically old-timey

"Sweet Moses Soda Fountain & Treat Shop" on Detroit Avenue in the Gordon Square Arts District. And I don't want no wisecracks, see? 'Cause I'm not givin' you the run around and we can just cut out the funny stuff, alright fella? And if you don't believe me? Well, you can just 23-Skidoo. 'Cause it's the bee's knees, kiddos.

So, without stallin', don't be a crumb and let's get to steppin'...

"Cut to Pieces" is a CPT Original Work written by

CPT Executive Artistic Director Raymond Bobgan and

CPT Education Director Chris Seibert.

"Cut to Pieces is an ambitious theatrical work that integrates live performance and video projections in an affecting solo show. This innovative work begins as a classic "who-done-it" tale and quickly spirals into an epic story of the dismembering power of violence, love, and the quest for self knowledge."

Well, Will and I were invited to the show by the director and co-writer, Raymond Bobgan. I had communicated with Raymond through email when I was inquiring about Cleveland Public Theatre's programs and possibly approaching them with my own material. I was interested to learn more about their mission as a theatre and see if our philosophies coincided.

If you've been reading my work for any length of time, if I've been doing a good enough job, you've probably sifted through the rubble of my zany humor by now and hopefully have realized that my writing and acting comes from the same heart that was a social worker in the past. And actually, I really see no difference. My work now is certainly not mutually exclusive from my prior work experience. If anything, it's built upon it.

My desires and motivations when I was an orderly, a social worker, a Boatswain's Mate in the U.S. Coast Guard, a clinical researcher in Cardiology, a bartender, an instructor for at-risk teenage Latinos in California, all the way to my work at U.C. Santa Barbara, and acting and writing along the way, my own mission has never swayed given the vast array of job titles that I've carried. (my bio)

I've ALWAYS wanted to help people... In whatever way I could. I wanted to ask them how they were doing, then wait for the reply. To let them know I was actually listening to them. That someone was acknowledging them.

Whether they were telling me about how their neighbors pissed them off while I poured them a gin and tonic, or whether they were upset about the texture of their wall paint on their Section 8 housing while I looked through classifieds to try and find them a job, or whether their parents were continually stealing their weed to smoke it for themselves while I was attempting to educate them on STD's and teach them that misogyny isn't cool and domestic violence and jail are only in their future if they make it so, that they actually have other options.

Or whether they just needed their asses wiped. Literally. Because I've done that too... just not as a bartender or a teacher. I was a stripper then, and that was an extra cost.

I really try (the keyword here is "try") to live by this quote:

"Whatever joy there is in this world, all comes from wanting others to be happy; and whatever suffering there is in this world, all comes from wanting oneself to be happy."

- Shantideva (8th century Buddhist poet)

And when I embrace this wisdom, and ingest it, it rings true for me. REALLY true. But, for me... I don't expect others to find the same peace in it as I do.

I don't always remember to follow this philosophy, but when I do, it takes me out of myself and brings me into the moment, joyfully. And the moment is all I have... It's the only thing real.

So, after I wrote to the theatre's website, Raymond wrote back to me. It was an elegant and sincere reply, welcoming me to the wonderful city of Cleveland. It turns out that he's originally from Santa Barbara and his parents still reside there, so we also had that in common.

I was rather stunned that I received such a sincere welcome and impressed that someone took the time. He invited me to the show and to meet to discuss my work as well.

Will and I arrived an embarrassingly 10 minutes late to meet Raymond at the theatre. He was going to give us a quick tour before the show, of the spaces that they have and give me an over-all picture of what Cleveland Public Theatre is all about. Will and I are still learning our way around the city and haven't quite gotten down how long it usually takes to get to certain places. Thus, the 10 minutes late.

Once we arrived, I profusely apologized for our tardiness, but Raymond's demeanor was as gracious as the words in his email. Beth Wood, the Assistant Artistic Director was there as well, and seemed just as kind and welcoming.

Raymond showed us the spaces that they have and talked about their mission and programs and I was invigorated. It echoed songs of my heart. As corny as it sounds, it's true. Our philosophies jibed and I feel as though I've found kindred spirits.

Well, after the tour, we took our seats for the play, "Cut To Pieces", but instead, witnessed magic, as any great art will present.

Chris Seibert and

Raymond Bobgan took us on a sobering journey, but not without the aides of humor, music and film and true artistry that culminated in an evening of brilliant story-telling.

Chris Seibert was very much at home in her portrayal of the characters; and they were distinct and vibrant, yet familiar. Her channeling of them was natural and approachable and her craft, easy to watch. The narrator was strong, yet vulnerable... and was just as surprised by the chain of events as the audience, but not unlike the audience, was better from the outcome.

The topic, dreadful and tragic, yes... But, not without redemption, not without a light at the end of the tunnel... It may have not been a bright light, but there was light. More than enough to see by... And being reluctant passengers on the trip, Ms. Seibert and Mr. Bobgan made the travel arrangements as comfortable as possible given the subject. And really, the only way that the light at the end of a tunnel is so welcoming, is because you had to go through the dark tunnel in the first place. Otherwise, it would just be another light and you really wouldn't know the difference.

This play accomplishes what all inspiring art does... It makes the unbearable, bearable.

Playing now through June 11th.

If you're in the area, I strongly encourage you to go see this play. However, if you don't want to be challenged or taken out of your comfort zone, if you don't wish for some spiritual evolution while being entertained by a dynamic actor, then I would just encourage you to turn on your T.V.

Cleveland Public Theatre

(source of original post)

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I'm Really Good at Lonely

Formerly obese John Doe (Kevin S. Charnas - that's me, bishes), center, is hounded by his crude aunt (Lissy Gulick) and a reality TV host (Lew Wallace). PHOTOS/STEVE WAGNER

From left to right: Kevin Charnas and Lissy Gulick *********************

From left to right: Elizabeth R. Wood as Mary Ann, Kevin Charnas and Lew Wallace ********************

"Kevin S. Charnas is perfect as John Doe, a sensitive, sad, lonely and unloved man."

Umm... Yeah. I think that's a compliment. But, I'm not quite sure.

Source: World première satirizes our fat nation

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Bambaska Biri

So, my mug was in The Cleveland Plain Dealer on Sunday: 'Don't Call Me Fat': How costumer Alison Garrigan makes an actor fat at Cleveland Public TheatreBy Tony Brown, The Plain Dealer Photos by Peggy Turbett, The Plain Dealer

Here's me in my socks looking like a big a-hole.

"Most people try to look thinner.

"Actor Kevin Charnas, who has a runner's build" (I would classify it more as a SUPER-DUPER Rock-Star/Porn-Star/Swimmer's build, but that's just me), "wants to look like a man so obese he can't get out of bed. Which means:

"Fat suit!

"For the world premiere of Turkish playwright Ozen Yula's "Don't Call Me Fat," which opened Saturday night and runs through Saturday, Oct. 30, Cleveland Public Theatre called Alison Garrigan, one of Cleveland's busiest and best resident costumers.

"Charnas spends the 75-minute first act in the suit, lying in bed in a hospital gown (after he spends 15 minutes in the thing before the curtain goes up)." (It's TORTURE, bishes. I could fry an egg on my heaving man chest when intermission finally comes around. Care to join me for some hot breakfast ON MY MAN BODY? Oh, no I dint. Ho, yes I did. And just WHO am I callin' a HO, HO? Oh, no I dint...)

"Then, in Act 2, he is slimmed down to his normal size. (a.k.a. SUPER-DUPER Rock-Star/Porn-Star/Swimmer-With-Hot-Sexy-Fried-Eggs-On-Top. Sorry... I couldn't resist elaborating.) "That means the part couldn't be played by a large actor with a little padding here and there, a la Harvey Fierstein as Edna Turnblad in 'Hairspray.'"

(Which appears to have been more fun and more mobile.)

"The length of time in the suit means it had to be as light (about 20 pounds) and comfy as possible. And his hands and face, his only acting tools besides his voice, had to be free.

"Garrigan, a costume designer for 30 years and an actor-director, had to bring all of her skills to the project.

"Garrigan looked at photographs of morbidly obese people and did sketches before rehearsals started in mid-August.

"After consulting with Yula, who is directing, and taking Charnas' measurements, she made the suit out of high-density upholstery foam (for shape), toy-animal fiberfill (lighter than foam) and lentil beans (for sag).

"She covered it in breathable "peach-skin" fabric, used for dancers and figure skaters whose costumes need a "nude" look.

(You totally want to gnaw on my nips, don't you? Don't lie.)

"Once the suit was built, Garrigan worked with Charnas to fine-tune the fit.

"Garrigan carved out spaces where frozen cold packs could be inserted on the actor's tummy and under his armpits to help him keep cool."

(No "tummy", bishes, we place that ice pack RIGHT ON MY GIANT GREEK PEEP.)

"The last piece of the suit scheduled to go on every night will be the jowls.

"Garrigan will apply pale makeup to Charnas' face and dark circles around his eyes after he is in the suit. "He has to look really unhealthy."

"The actor's supine position and the elevation of the stage meant that Garrigan had to use what artists call "forced perspective," deliberately accentuating some body parts to make up for the audience's viewing angle.

(And you KNOW your stank ass wants to be tappin' that shit!! Dang. Me too. No wonder I spend all of Act 1 in bed. I be touchin' on myself being all like, "Aahhh, yeah... You like that, Kevie-Wevie? Huh? Do you?? You FINE, bish! Sheeiiitttt..." *SLAP! And SSQQUUEEEZZE...* Or something along those lines.)

"The finished product is never, it seems, really finished.

"In the technical-rehearsal photo, Charnas wears a bathrobe. But the next night, Yula decided to go with the hospital gown, which meant more adjustments.

"Which is OK with Garrigan. "It's been really interesting to take that kind of athletic body and turn it into the absolute opposite. And the hands-on work was not unpleasant at all, if you know what I mean."

I think that means she was feeling me up the whole time. I'm going to have to send her a bill. That shit's not free. At least not yet.

Okay, so I KNEW "Edna Turnblad". "Edna Turnblad" was a friend of mine. And I, sir and madame, am no Edna Turnblad. But, let me tell you how much fun it is to dance in that thing while Ozen SINGS "I Will Survive" to me in Turkish.

Because even though I don't know Turkish, I know that song (it's a pre-requisite to be gay - Headquarters says so - I think it's programmed in at birth). So, I get to mime and do some seriously fancy moves all while wearing a fat suit. It's some fricking money right there, BISHES!! That's what happens when bodies start slappin'.

Move over, Gloria Gaynor, Ajda Pekkan's in town!

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Tonight is Our O-O-Opening Night!


Morrissey - You're The One For Me, Fatty
Uploaded by EMI_Music. - See the latest featured music videos. So, one of my best buds in the whole wide world, the illustrious Matthew Earnest (from WANDERLUST fame, among everything else worthwhile) posted this video on my Facebook page Thursday to encouragement me to break-a-leg (or at least some wind) for our first preview. Technically, we had a preview Thursday and Friday night, and we "officially" open "Don't Call Me Fat" tonight at Cleveland Public Theatre. Well, when people are paying money for a ticket, even if it's a "preview", I consider it opening. So, as far as I'm concerned, we opened Thursday night. That's just how I roll, bishes.

"Roll"... get it? "Fatty"... "roll"... Sorry, bad joke. THEY CAN'T ALL BE GOOD, PEOPLE!!

Yeah... So, there we are.

Anyone want to give me an O-FACE for our O-pening?

Get it? O-face... O-pening??

CUT ME SOME SLACK, PEOPLE!!

Gosh. Tough crowd.

Okay, so because we all KNOW that I love me some O-faces, let's see your best for our "O-O-Opening".

Seriously? That's all you got for me? A half-opened mouth full of water?

Alright...

Now WHAT do you know about O-faces, because your mouth is totally closed. You don't even know what we're talking about, do you?

This is better...

But look, I don't mean to be critical, but I have a feeling that you use this one for more than just your "O-face".

Almost...

But not quite. And that crown is just completely unnecessary.

Oh good lord,

Okay, that's just TOO MUCH. You two just look ridiculous. Note to everybody, when your mouth is open so much that you can fit a gaggle of children in it, you've passed the optimal O-face.

And Dude...

COME ON. You got like... lettuce in your mouth and shit. That's no O-face. You're not even trying. Nice eye lashes though.

Okay, now we're getting better...

Closer...

Closer...

OKAY!!

AND THE FUCKING CAT AT THE RECORD STORE WINS!!!

Don't they always?

The interview for "Don't Call Me Fat" with Ozen Yula (our director and playwright) and Raymond Bobgan (our producer) begins at 35:35 and featuring the lovely Faye Hargate and myself in a sound-bite from a scene shortly thereafter. If you're so inclined, of course.

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Just Between You, Me and This Whole Internets Thing, Kevin Charnas Is A Total Fatty

Don't Call Me Fat

Cleveland Public Theatre is honored to host this world premiere, created for Cleveland Public Theatre (CPT) by internationally acclaimed Turkish writer and director Ozen Yula. "Don't Call Me Fat" follows one man's grasping attempt to go from obesity to celebrity (that'll be me, bishes). Onstage in the Gordon Square Theatre from October 7 - October 30 (Paid previews on October 7 and 8; Opening Night is on Saturday, October 9).

Ozen Yula has been in residence at CPT and Cleveland State University as part of Cleveland Foundation's Creative Fusion program, a multi-year initiative that brings accomplished artists from diverse cultures to Cleveland.

Yula is one of the world's most daring, avant-garde playwrights and directors. His collected plays have been published in 5 volumes and translated into more than 10 languages, including Bosnian and Arabic. His work is characterized as dark, comical, visually daring and at the forefront of controversial issues of social justice and human rights facing our global society. His other collected works, including novels, short story collections and essays, have been printed by several publishing companies. He has written 8 books and his works have been performed around the globe.

"Don't Call Me Fat" Centers around morbidly obese John Doe (me, bishes) who can't get out of bed, yet his spiritual self flies overhead in the form of a beautiful trapeze artist. John is driven to make a dangerous decision by his hypercritical Aunt Jane and his manipulating therapist. He will undergo a radical new surgery that will make him thin or kill him, and he stumbles into world fame as a reality show star...

Featuring a strong ensemble of performers, "Don't Call Me Fat" is a darkly funny commentary on excess consumption and our need for reduction and redemption. Don't miss this visually stunning world premiere event! (source)

So, TONIGHT, I get to try on my fat suit that will be looking something like this:

The character is 700 pounds. You KNOW you want to totally tweak and gnaw on his nipples. Don't lie. Me TOO! YUM! ME FIRST! OUT OF MY WAY!!

And when he goes out? (Which he doesn't) He would need this:

Yeah... Nice. Like the ball-cap makes things better.

I tried to talk Ozen into letting me be

an obese zombie, but he was having none of it.

Actually, an obese zombie would've been more my style, but no doubt, wouldn't have enriched me at all. Oh sure, I would've been able to eat all the babies and children and small adults I wanted, but really, that would've only filled my stomach, not my spiritual growth.

Rehearsals have been challenging. Ozen and the cast have been wonderful - extremely supportive. But, the depth of the content and attempting to grasp the character has shaken me. In a good way, though. It's taken me far out of my comfort zone and that's a good thing. If I'm honest with myself, I've never really grown from something that came easy. Not really...

So, that's what I've been consumed (heh...heh... get it? "Consumed"? Heh.) with the last 6 weeks... Learning how to be a nasty, bedridden, morbidly obese person. I've been modeling the character's personality after Dickhead Cheney, Tush Limbaugh, Glenn Speck-of-Shit, Donald Dumbsfeld and Newt Dingbitch all wrapped into one. He is grotesque, after all.

Hhhooooo... No, I dint.

Ooohhh, yes I did. Now hand me that side of beef and go fry me 20 eggs and 50 pieces of bacon.

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WANDERLUST in American Theatre Magazine!

(Please feel free to click above image to enlarge - I can't get the damn thing any bigger. Ooohhh, behave...)

Only TWO performances left of WANDERLUST: A History of Walking at Cleveland Public Theatre before we move our stank asses on to The Ice Factory in New York, bishes!

Opening Scene from "Wanderlust". From left to right: Nicole Perrone, Adam Thatcher, Pandora Robertson, Kevin Charnas (that's me, bishes), Alexis Floyd, Trae Hicks and Jonathon Ramos. (Photo credit: Dan Schreckengost)

So, if you're able to make it, I promise I won't be wearing

this. (Photo credit: Matthew Earnest)

Or,

this. (Photo credit: Matthew Earnest)

But, I DO promise I'll be wearing much less. Ooohhhh... Woof, Woof, meow...

ENOUGH of this tomfoolery, I say! I'll leave with you something invigorating - an extended excerpt from WANDERLUST. May it inspire you to take to your feet and be all you ever need.

"Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road, Healthy, free, the world before me, The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune, Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing, Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms, Strong and content I travel the open road.

The earth, that is sufficient, I do not want the constellations any nearer, I know they are very well where they are.

You air that serves me with breath to speak! You objects that call from diffusion my meanings and give them shape! You light that wraps me and all things in delicate equable showers! You paths worn in the irregular hollows by the roadsides! I believe you are latent with unseen existences, you are so dear to me.

The earth expanding right hand and left hand, The picture alive, every part in its best light,

From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, Going where I list, my own master total and absolute. I inhale great draughts of space, I am larger, better than I thought, I did not know I held so much goodness.

Allons! whoever you are come travel with me!

Be not discouraged, keep on, there are divine things well envelop'd, I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell. Allons! we must not stop here, However sweet these laid-up stores, however convenient this dwelling we cannot remain here, However shelter'd this port and however calm these waters we must not anchor here,

Allons! the road is before us! Camerado, I give you my hand!"

~ Walt Whitman (1819-1892)

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Under Contstruction

Okay, so now the below post just seems stupid because I HAVE (actually, my pimp Jim Kukral did - Thanks, Jimmy K!) moved the website to WordPress and Blogger can suck it. And now, I don't know what I'm doing... I'm trying to find my way again, trying to renovate the website a bit and tweak its nipples and spank its bottom and have it call me "Daddy".

I have much to tell you about how "WANDERLUST" has been evolving, blossoming and exploding on stage (we've had standing ovations two nights in a row, bishes). And that doesn't even include all the band aids, bruises, how I almost broke my jaw, chipped my teeth, hit both the back AND the front of my head, threw my back out, and had my scrotum dragged across a table. That's right, I can now tuck my scrotum into my socks; left one in the left, right one in the right - and on special occasions, I'll crisscross 'em. I sound really pretty don't I?

Yes, it's certainly been a journey. An experience and opportunity that I am immensely grateful for (even with the stretched out ball sac that now doubles as a lasso), and like any fantastical adventure, one that I'm so much better for...

After all, nothing truly great and worthwhile comes easy. Does it?

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