HERCULANEUM

Beyonce tried to stop her.

Beyonce grabbed "Sasha Fierce" by her hair (unfortunately, also her own... or at least her own weave) and was all, "Girl, I am BEYONCE. Sasha Fierce be stoopid and you need to recognize."

Well, I don't have to tell you that this just pissed Miss Fierce RIGHT OFF. It obviously sparked a heated debate.

And the two began arguing as witnessed here.

Beyonce was all, "NO, SASHA FIERCE!! I'M BEYONCE! YOU STOOPID!"

And Sasha Fierce was all, "GGIIRRLL, YOU SO DEAD IT AIN'T EVEN FUNNY!! BRING IT!!"

And that's when things REALLY got ugly.

And Sasha Fierce threw Beyonce's ass down the stairs.

Again... unfortunately herself as well.

And Beyonce went head-over-keister landing on her melon with her crack waving in the air like she just didn't care.

And who arose from the heap of flesh victorious? Well, the rest is history. But, just in case you missed it... May I introduce,

Miss Sasha Fierce. (It's allll about SACRIFICE, PEOPLE.)

The problem with all of this?

I thought I WAS

SASHA FIERCE.

But, no.

NO.

BEYONCE ROBBED ME.

So, I got over that.

Not really. But, I continued on...

And then, as if ALL OF THAT WASN'T TRAUMATIC ENOUGH FOR ME...

J. Lo changes her name to Lola.

Now, WHY this picture came up when I was searching for images of Jennifer Lopez is beside me. I don't think she ever toyed with the idea of changing her name to "Marmoset Tapa". I mean, maybe... But, I kind of doubt it.

So apparently, "Lola" has been trying to get out under from J. Lo's skirt

for quite some time...

And Lola has been all,

"J. Lo, stick a fork in you, girl. You done."

And J. Lo was all, "GIIRRLLL, I'M GONNA BLOW YOU AWAY WITH MY FARTS!! DANG!!!"

Bbbrrrrttttttt....

And Lola was all,

"Wooo... thanks for the highlights, baby."

Well, I don't have to tell you that this just PISSED J. LO OFF EVEN MORE!!! And she was all, "WONDER TWINS' POWER, ACTIVATE!! FORM OF A GIANT FART/WIND STORM!!!

BBBRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

And Lola being the new badass she is was all...

"Ooohhh... Baby, that was like a cool refreshing breeze blowing those nasty tired highlights and split ends away! Thanks, Grandma!"

So, may I introduce, in pink ruffles no less...

"Lola"

And again...

The whole problem with this???

I thought I WAS

LOLA!!???

But, no.

NO.

NNNOOOOO!!!

I'VE BEEN FOILED AGAIN.

AND IT'S COMPLETE BULLSHIT.

I'm tired of it.

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*** Original Post Where "Sasha Fierce" photo appeared: The Evolution of My Halloween Costume; Post #4

*** Original Post Where "Lola" photo appeared: We're Both Greek

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