WHAT???

"Umm...I am Miss Teen Clueless and I believe that the reason for crime here in the United States of America is because of an outbreak of really bad boogers in South Africa and Iraq and Kansas due to all the spiders and we need to teach people how to wipe their noses more properly and get rid of those boogers once and for all for world peace. And I am just going to be so bold as to announce right here and right now that this is going to be my mission in life. I plan on wiping out boogers everywhere in the world. And maybe after that, farts. I'm going to work very hard to eradicate boogers and farts. Thank you..."

Okay, so she didn't say this, but it was close, no? This hysterical contribution comes to us from Kami of The Kelson Krew. Thanks, Kami!