America's Got Talent

I don't want to mention any names, but SOMEBODY wearing a little red get-up with an extreme wedgie is going to TAKE-OFF.

ALTERNATE TITLES

1. Jet Propelled Giant Tampon WINS THE GOLD!

2. Vagina And Vulva ACTIVATE - Form of - CRAZY-ASS VELOCITY x A MILLION!

3. Hot Poker

4. SSHHAAA-ZZAAMMMM!

5. BBBBBBBBBBBB-BBBBBBBBBBBBB-BBBBBBBBBBBBB...

6. TO THE LEFT! TO THE LEFT! TO THE RIGHT! TO THE RIGHT!

7. Now, It Would Be REALLY Impressive If That Thing Were On Fire (The baton, not the puss. Actually, I'm rather surprised that both of them aren't.)

8. Beat Box

9. (Speaking of fire) SMOKIN'

9 1/2. Baton Rouge

10. You'll poke your eye out, kid.

11. Twirla Monster

(This one goes to eleven.)

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