A Collection of WTFs for Wednesday #3

in

It's been too long, hasn't it? Whaddya say? Let's have some fun, bishes...

Have my dreams come true?

Because seeing a statue of a dude 69ing a cow is totally on my bucket list.

Actually 69ing a cow would just be too much to ask for, wouldn't it... Because getting tea-bagged by crazy udders is just da bomb. Am I right? *******************

One of our bestest buds, Jen Sandypants, sent this pic to me and said, "Kev, honey, I took this picture because it reminded me of you!"

That is just so sweet, Jen. Thanks. How thoughtful. Like I'm a spooge dumpster or something. *******************

Umm... Yeah. I don't think that really helps anything... Faster? I doubt it. Higher? Most definitely. Maybe it helps you see over big hair or something. Then, that's cool. That would've been really useful in the 80's. And how the F did you get up there? Now that I think of it, it is kind of impressive. But more than anything, I want to be there when you jackknife. THEN, we'll see who's smiling... *************************

So, yeah... Dude sitting upon the equivalent of four bicycles is kind of impressive...

But,... NOT AS IMPRESSIVE AS THIS, BISH!!!

Yeah... EXACTLY. You thought you were all badass on your four bikes. Whatever. Yawn. ***************************

run.

I SAID RUN... Swim... You might as well just start swimming. *************************

And what can make a hurricane instantly more dangerous?

Bears. ***********************

What total mo,

designed this ad? Wrap two hot menz in chains and have 'em pull on one another and pretendzz that they be all working it and shizz. So... The black guy is $34.99 and the white guy is $29.99. Is that per minute? Per hour? I suppose I should read the fine print. Oh hell, I'll take both. Because if I were to be honest again, I'm reluctantly a little turned on. I'm not proud of it, but there we have it. ***********************

I am no longer turned on. Curious and a little bit scared? Yes. Turned on? No. ********************

Dude...

SO not cool. ***********************

Nice balls, bish. Although, if I were you, I'd watch out for Michael Jackson, Edward Scissorhands, the Scot behind you in the kilt, and the troll/butler by the door. 'Cause I'm pretty sure they've all got eyes for your balls. I'd be careful with Edward though. He can be kind of... intense. And the troll. He can be kind of... trollish. And Michael... Well,... Just go for the Scot. Easy access. And they've got that whole brogue thing going on, which is just UBER-hot. Blows my panties off every time. ***********************

Speaking of panties...

Umm... Dude? I'm not really complaining,

But why are you in yours? *********************

Oh my god... I don't want to say anything, but I think that someone's been chasing parked cars. And it's not the lion. And why THAT shirt? How 'bout a blouse, or a poncho, or a harness, Miss Lopsidedpalooza? And bish? Washed hair can go a loonngg way. As can a hat, scarf, or wig. Pick one. Hell, at this point, pick all three. *********************

It's like he just launched off girlfriend's boobs from the above pic. Dude... I wonder if he still had teeth after he landed... Or a head for that matter... *****************

Good god, man...

GET A ROOM. **********************

And...

Jesus Christ... TANNING YOUR HOLE??? What? It's not brown enough? And what about the circles from the spool? It's going to look like you have three holes. And nice hair, by the way. Like you couldn't have asked a friend or a neighbor to clip all that shit before the photo shoot? **********************

*** A Collection of WTFs for Monday (With a Strong Sprinkling of A-Holes) *** A Collection of WTFs For Thursday… #3 *** A Collection Of WTFs For Friday (And The "Lots of Skin Edition") *** A Collection Of WTFs For Thursday... #2 *** A Collection Of WTFs For Thursday... *** A Collection Of WTFs For Wednesday... #2 *** A Collection Of WTFs For Wednesday...

*********************************