Thanks, For The Calamities... (Of sentimental verse and nothing in my purse, And chuckles when the preacher said, "For better or for worse", How lovely it was...)

in

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Battle of the Bulges (Caution: Weiners Ahead... don't say i didn't warn you)

in

I'm sorry... I just think this whole Weinergate has gotten a little over-inflated.

Do I think it was foolish and stupid of him?

Yes.

When men think with their penises, which we probably do more times than not, we're ALWAYS foolish and stupid.

Do I think it makes the man WORTHLESS?

No.

I can't believe people are this freaked out over this... If he didn't commit a crime, what the hell? Is everyone that FRICKING PURE?

WHAT. THE. F-BOMB...

What a lynch mob of puritanical BULLSHIT.

Pressure mounts on Weiner over sex scandal (How funny is that HEADline? That was their original title, which they have since changed. But, pressure, MOUNT, WEINER, OVER, SEX...? tee-hee-hee)

Howard Witz, a real estate broker in Brooklyn, part of Weiner's district in New York City, said he would support Weiner again should he remain in politics.

"It's a shame because he's a very effective politician," Witz said. "Disappointed? Maybe. But does it make me quit on him? No it doesn't. As long as he didn't commit a crime."

Another New Yorker, Joe Mele, was more blunt.

"Mayor? I don't think he should be dogcatcher," Mele said.

Really, Joe? REALLY? He shouldn't even be "DOGCATCHER"? Shall we just KILL HIM???

How about a little perspective...

I mean think about the crimes against humanity, the economy and the environment that the war criminal

Dick Cheney and HIS BULGE did (what the hell IS THAT anyway? A PUMPKIN?). And that asshole is still slithering on the streets.

If only our society was as vehemently intolerant of violent images...

So, yes. Anthony Weiner actually has a weiner... And as stupid as Weiner was with his weiner (I know... Old joke by now.), is it really so bad that the man is considered worthless? Are we that high and mighty that we can cast such simple and easy judgment? Apparently so...

I think given the attention that this has received, the man certainly regrets it...

AND DON'T WE HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO BE CONCERNED WITH?

Like the crimes against HUMANITY, the ECONOMY and the ENVIRONMENT?

When people start completely freaking out about other people's private lives, I just think it's so delusional and extremely judgmental. Pathetic... Unless it's actually a crime, really... What does anyone care...? I just don't get it... Yes, he showed a great lapse in judgment. But, FAR WORSE things have happened and are happening RIGHT NOW. With all the challenges that we're faced with today, THIS is garnering our attention?

So, WHO CARES about how the U.S. Intervened To Keep Haiti Slave Wages Low On Behalf Of Hanes, Levi Strauss...

Or... WHO CARES about how The U.S. and Its Allies Will Do Anything to Prevent Democracy in the Arab World...

Or... WHO CARES about how Republicans Seek To Cut 1.3 Million Vets, or how UK’s Factory Farm Dairies May Have Created New Strain of MRSA.

And if that's all too heavy for you, how about how Peace Activists were Arrested for Dancing at the Jefferson Memorial - literally throttled by the neck, because of a federal court ruling barring dancing at national memorial sites. Not that I MUST dance at the Lincoln Memorial, but what if I WANT TO? Umm... FASCIST MUCH?

But, no. We're ALL PISSED OFF over a peeper on twitter.

So, all this circus and hoopla and rigmarole... Before my head explodes, let's dissect it, shall we? Let's see EXACTLY what he sent. And more importantly, what he SHOULD HAVE sent.

So, this is Weiner's chest...

Really, dude? That's all you've got for us? You don't even know these women... You could've sent them ANYTHING... And you sent her THAT? I mean, it's not bad... It's just kind of... slight, almost delicate. But, whatever... But Anthony... Can I call you "Anthony"? Cool. Anthony, dude... You could've used ANYONE's pics. You could've been all

SHAAZZAMM!! on her ass.

Or...

BAABAAMBII!!

Or just to mess with her, you could've been all

Get in me hairy belly!!!

Or you could've been all

REALLY GET IN ME BELLY!! DEEAADD SEXYY!

But, no. Instead you sent this,

Yawn.

THEN, you sent this...

Dude. Brother... THIS? Dull gray boxer briefs with barely something for a chicken to scratch at... REALLY? You might as well have sent a pic of your piss-stained Underoos from 6th Grade.

I totally would've been all, "Hey, baby... Want to see what the Weiner is packing? Of course you do. Silly question... Well," [send]

SSHHAAZZAMMM!!

Or... "Do you like red...? Good. We're in luck."

BABAAMBII!! "Now, hand me the suntan lotion."

You could've done SO MUCH to mess with them. And now, I bet you're wishing you did... It would've at least made this witch hunt you're in a little more worth it...

You could've been all,

"Here I am back in the day. I know, you had NO IDEA I was this old, right? Me neither. Time flies when you're having fun."

Or,

"Here I am when I was in 6th Grade with blond hair in my pissed-stained Underoos at the beach! FLEXIBLE, right? I know... Those days are gone. Dang."

Or, "Here I am when I looked nothing like myself,

but I was in college touring Greece in my man panties and a wife beater."

Or...

"Here I am when I looked nothing like myself, but I just won the French Open. That was a cool day."

Or...

"Here I am when I used to run a jazzercise class by the pool back in my Vegas days..."

Or... "Did I ever show you "Rudolph"? No? Well..."

"How about that pickle?"

Or...

"Here I am when I was a matador back in Spain and my bulge was mongo. I'm the one on the right. Oh, wait... I'm the one on the left. Or... Umm. Yeah. Let's talk about when I was a cop."

"See? That's me on the beat back in the day."

"And did I ever tell you that I've competed in the Ironman like a zillion times?

'Cause I have."

"And did you know that I used to wrestle in college?

'Cause I totally did. I KNOW, RIGHT??"

"I know my bulges are totally hot. But, I just wish they were as big as the bulge in Kevin Charnas' pants."

"'Cause that be some impressive shit..." (I still have no idea why my pants were doing that. Oh, wait a minute, yes I do! Because I DO HAVE a giant bulge. Hey, don't shoot the messenger.)

Look, I know he screwed up. He was stupid. And at this point, he's finished. But really, besides Huma Abedin, his unfortunate wife, who REALLY got hurt here? This should be between him and his wife. And I think it's unfair to completely measure a person's worth on foolish moments. ESPECIALLY when no one was really harmed.

And an "angry" Nancy Pelosi...? Please... Talk about protruding bulges... House Democrats Step Up Calls for Weiner to Quit

As though all her freakish plastic surgery doesn't perpetuate a more harmful message to women everywhere...

And "angry"? Really, Nancy? "ANGRY"??

Well... apparently,

(don't say i didn't warn you...)

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The Petty, The Magnanimous and The Ridiculous

in

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They took it back to Reagan... Who FUNDED the taliban in the first place.

(Thank you for this, Raymond.)

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Caution: Crazy Wreck Ahead

in

George W. Bush calls Katrina photo a ‘huge mistake’

The PHOTO was the mistake??? THAT was the mistake??

WWHHAAATTTT???? (This is me slamming on the brakes and rolling the car.)

Bush: Waterboarding Was Legal "Because the Lawyer Said It Was"

WWHHAAATTTT???? (This is me slamming on the brakes and rolling the car again.)

(So, it's "legal" even though it goes against the Geneva Convention and the 8th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.)

And in his first major interview since leaving office, former President George Bush has defended the Iraq invasion and admitted he approved the waterboarding of prisoners. Bush spoke to NBC as part of a promotional campaign around his memoir Decision Points, which hits bookstores today. Part of last night’s interview with NBC’s Matt Lauer focused on waterboarding.

Matt Lauer: "Why is waterboarding legal, in your opinion?"

President Bush: "Because the lawyer said it was legal, said it did not fall within the Anti-Torture Act. I’m not a lawyer. And—but you got to trust the judgment of people around you. And I do."

Lauer: "You say it’s legal, and the lawyers told me."

Bush: "Yeah... First of all, we used this technique on three people. Captured a lot of people and used it on three. We gained valuable information to protect the country, and it was the right thing to do, as far as I’m concerned."

Lauer: "So, if it’s legal, President Bush, then if an American is taken into custody in a foreign country, not necessarily a uniformed American"—

Bush: "Look, I’m not going to debate the issue, Matt. I really"—

Lauer: "I’m just asking. Would it be OK for a foreign country to waterboard an American citizen?"

Bush: "It’s—all I ask is that people read the book. And they can reach the same conclusion if they would have made the same decision I made or not."

Lauer: "You’d make the same decision again today?"

Bush: "Yeah, I would."

NBC’s Matt Lauer also asked President Bush about Hurricane Katrina.

Lauer: "About a week after the storm hit, NBC aired a telethon."

Bush: "Yes."

Lauer: "Asking for help for the victims of Katrina. We had celebrities coming in to ask for money, and I remember it vividly because I hosted it. And at one part of the evening, I introduced Kanye West. Were you watching?"

Bush: "No."

Lauer: "Do you remember what he said?"

Bush: "Yes, I do."

Kanye West: "George Bush doesn’t care about black people."

Bush: "Called me a racist."

Lauer: "Well, what he said was, 'George Bush doesn't care about black people.’"

Bush: "That’s [inaudible] ’he’s a racist.’ I didn’t appreciate it then. I don’t appreciate it now. It’s one thing to say, you know, 'I don't appreciate the way he’s handled his business.’ It’s another thing to say, 'this man's a racist.’ I resent it. It’s not true. And it was one of the most disgusting moments of my presidency."

Lauer: "This from the book: 'I faced a lot of criticism as president. I didn't like hearing people claim that I lied about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction or cut taxes to benefit the rich. But the suggestion that I was racist because of the response to Katrina represented an all-time low.’"

Bush: "Yeah, still feel that way as you read those words. Felt them when I heard them. Felt them when I wrote them. And I felt them when I’m listening to them."

Lauer: "You say you told Laura at the time it was the worst moment of your presidency."

Bush: "Yes."

WWHHAAATTTT???? (This is me slamming on the... you get the picture.) What "KANYE WEST" said about you was the WORST MOMENT OF YOUR PRESIDENCY??? Oh my god... can't breathe... need... help.

Lauer: "I wonder if some people are going to read that, and they might give you some heat for that. And the reason is this."

Bush: "I don’t care."

Lauer: "Well, here’s the reason. You’re not saying that the worst moment in your presidency was watching the misery in Louisiana. You’re saying it was when someone insulted you because of that."

Bush: "No. And I also make it clear that the misery in Louisiana affected me deeply, as well. There’s a lot of tough moments in the book, and it is a disgusting moment, pure and simple."

President Bush speaking last night on NBC. In his new memoir, Bush also writes that he was "shocked" when he discovered Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction. He writes, "No one was more shocked or angry than I was when we didn’t find the weapons. I had a sickening feeling every time I thought about it. I still do." (source)

I can't believe he was OUR PRESIDENT FOR EIGHT YEARS...

George W. Bush and Kanye West Make Peace

WWHHAAATTTT???? (This is going to get expensive.)

Is EVERYONE FUCKING CRAZY???

LOOK at those headlines: "GEORGE W. BUSH AND KANYE WEST MAKE PEACE"

IS EVERYONE RETARDED??

Don't answer that.

I feel like I'm in the fucking matrix.

And let's not forget what the former President's Mother, and former First Lady said about the displacement of victims from Hurricane Katrina, "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas," Barbara Bush said in an interview on Monday with the radio program "Marketplace." "Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality."

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway," she said, "so this is working very well for them." (The New York Times)

What a gem...

Spoiled assholes too far removed from reality...

But somehow, by some cruel fate, they were closer than the latest batch...

*** Waterboarding: A Tortured History Where the U.S. actually prosecuted Japanese soldiers after WWII for waterboarding and court-martialed a U.S. Soldier for committing the torture during Vietnam.

Besides George W. being a total moron, he's a war criminal. Not to mention, he totally fucked up my ride...

Ooohhhh... that's right, it's not MY car! It's OUR car! Silly me.

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