HERCULANEUM

A few weeks ago, I met some friends of mine and Will's down in Santa Monica for lunch. We met at Houston's at noon (I was 15 minutes delayed by traffic) and by 12:45 pm, I was cross-eyed from the Bloody Mary's. Well, after 5 Vodka and somethings, 2 Long Islands, and 3 Bloody Mary's, we were either ready for naps, detox, or at least, the Dinner Menu.

I think that the staff got tired of having to say, "I'm over here..." when we would order another drink and our vision and line-of-sight wasn't exactly what we hoped it would be at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

It was a fantastic time with them, although Will was sorely missed. And it's so easy being around them both.

And just who are "them both"?

Well, last Thursday night, I was fortunate enough to be invited by the truly beautiful,

Casting Director and Writer, Bonnie Gillespie and her very charming husband, Actor and Writer, Keith Johnson, to attend,

The Cricket Feet Casting Actors Showcase

Unfortunately, I couldn't have this

sexy beast (my husband) as my date.

So, my date was to be one of the next best things,

The performance artist, Auntie Biotic.

But, no. NNNOOOOOOOOOO... Bish had to get caught in traffic.

MUCHO ESTUPIDO TRAFFIC!!

Well, I went by myself. And the event was everything that I thought it would be considering it was Bonnie who is the mastermind behind it.

It was very organized and seemed to work like clock-work. Again, knowing Bonnie, I wasn't surprised.

The guests arrived on the red carpet, where we checked in and had our name tags on lanyards waiting for us by extremely polite, gorgeous women. Then, the photographer was next, where pictures were taken of guests arriving to the showcase. I honestly think that it made everyone feel special and famous for a moment. And certainly added to the excitement in the air.
Although, at one point, I saw a would-be photographer lose a grip on his camera to where it looked like it was thrust from his hands where it then BOUNCED off a metal table. And by the resulting expression on his face, the outcome looked bleak.

There was an open bar and hors d'oeuvres before the show. Then, the showcase kicked off and consisted of 39 actors in two or more scenes that lasted roughly 4 minutes each, spanning 90 minutes. And thankfully, there was a lot of talent on that stage (in the writing AND the acting) and it was all comedy.

Again, clockwork. The exits and entrances were practically seamless and it was easy to watch and hysterically offensive sometimes.

A thinning haired, heavily muscled and tattooed transsexual packed into a tiny cocktail dress, that was teetering on a pair of heels ended up sitting next to me, (she could've picked me up over her head and threw me at least 40 feet). Up until then, the event had seemed rather sophisticated, yet approachable. And once the mack-truck in the dress sat next to me, I honestly thought, "Oh thank god. If I'm going to be date-less, at least a transsexual is sitting next to me. And I hope that everyone thinks she's with me... And... And... I hope that they all think that behind closed doors she pulls my hair and spanks my bottom... And throws me over the couch."

Life just seems so much more vibrant with a heavily muscled transsexual, squished into a dress and heels, sitting next to you. And if not "vibrant", then AT LEAST more interesting.

The MC's of the evening were the extremely bright and funny couple,

Diani & Devine. I know that they look like investment bankers, but you're just going to have to trust me. Their comic sense of timing is perfect and I was almost giddy watching them. I posted their popular short "Girl's Night Out" on Friday evening. And the sequel to that is down below. So, don't just "trust me", see for yourself:

"Dating Without Desperation" by Diani & Devine

There was a complete reception following the performances with yet still, another open bar and a full buffet of Mexican food. I couldn't have requested better myself. I loaded my plate with food and headed to a corner by an open door of The Colony Theatre (in Burbank) and held up a wall while I ate. I people-watched (one of my all-time favorite activities, if you hadn't guessed) and congratulated the actors on their work. I saw my transsexual side-kick/silent date stomping around the place, waving to people with hands as big as dinner plates and shoving burritos into her mouth. And I smiled. Contemplating how far she could throw me and knowing that my evening was better for having sat next to her and she didn't even know it...

I then found Keith and congratulated him on his performance as well and thanked Bonnie profusely for the invite. It really was lovely and just all around fun. An event that I'd go to gladly many times over.

I said "Goodbye" knowing that I, myself, had a performance the next day and I needed my rest. And I still had over a 90 minute drive back to Santa Barbara.

As though I hadn't been missing Will terribly the whole evening already... Now, I had the drive home to feel it. And it hurt. But luckily, I had 90 minutes of funny memories to keep me company.

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