HERCULANEUM

What EEVVVIIIILLLLL lurks behind those beady eyes...

DO YOU DARE TO LOOK AT HER?? DO YOU??? BE CAREFUL!!

For she is eevviiillll and sweaty. And has bad hair.

Of course, she isn't evil. Just ignorant... stupid really. And suffers from her wants of being distracted and void of the ability to empathize with someone different from herself. Oh, and she can't answer questions.

She was like this in high school though, but with better hair and make-up.

How do I know this, you ask?

Well,

I happen to have stumbled upon her Senior Class Picture!

Remind you of anyone? She was voted "The Most Likely To Wear Unusual Purple Earrings" and "Most Likely To Turn Green".

And JUST LOOK AT THE EVIL TEMPTRESS IN HER

PROM GOWN. The tentacles are a bit over the top, I know, but they certainly do make a statement... or a scar.

I was also fortunate enough to find some pics of her on vacation,

at Disneyland.

Thought you could just fly away from the cameras, huh Mag?

Oh Sweetie... besides the tragedy of your bangs. If you only had a brain...

Oh and darling? What happened to that mole you used to have in High School?

Wait.

Let me guess.

You ate it.

Because it didn't belong.

But, Mags. Raggie Maggie... I noticed something about your performance in that interview up there on Hard Balls.

I want to bring something to your attention and it might make you angry... So, I'm just warning you. Or maybe I'm warning me...

Naggie Maggie broadcasting your intellect (which strongly resembles a bologna sandwich) from a soggy brown baggie?

You.

NEVER.

Answered.

The Question.

You were asked.

NOT EVER.

I knew it'd make you mad.

And I don't EVEN want to know what that is coming out of your clam, mmm-kay? 'Cause you just nasty, girl.

***If you'd like to send your Congressperson a message that's already been written for you in support of the Matthew Shepard Act, you may do so here.***

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