HERCULANEUM

Kate Gosselin's New Hair Extensions Reportedly Cost $7,000

This week Kate Gosselin premiered her new long hair on the cover of People magazine, calling her new style and outlook on life "Kate Clean Slate."

More Like, "Kate's Wasted Space".

And I'm talking about what's between her photoshopped neck and the straw coming out of her melon.

It didn't help that her hair was fucked to begin with...

Sorry, bishes... That shit is fucked. And if your hair looks like this, you need to cut that shit out. And I mean that literally. You look ridiculous. No one's going to tell you, but trust me. I'm not trying to be mean, but lose it now. That has got to be one of the dumbest haircuts EVER.

But $7,000.

$7,000!!

Her fake BULLSHIT HAIR cost SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS... and it still looks like shit.

I would've fixed it for free and given the seven grand to someone losing their home.

When I told Will how much that asshole spent on that crap that doesn't even look good, he just replied a-matter-of-factly, "Why would anybody want a ho with fake hair?"

Why, indeed...

And "I'm Starting Over"??? No, you're not. You're just adding more shit to your pile.

"Starting Over" isn't spending $7,000 on fake hair. You're as detached from reality as ever.

But, if we're going to limit self-actualization to hair styles, then...

even though Britney Spears is kind of crazy, THIS

is starting over. At least she had the guts to just shave her shit off. Oh sure, she looks like she's going to start eating babies here, but still.

Just lose the hoodie, add some eye-shadow, mascara and lipstick, a little bling hanging from the ears and an alluring glance and you're ready for NOT eating babies.

And yes, unfortunately none of us knew that Britney actually had her debut on

Close Encounters of The Third Kind, but still. At least her scalp wasn't fake.

I would've had more respect for Miss Gosselin if she had

covered her head in cigarettes. Which ironically, I find less smokable than her current hair (extensions and all).

***DISCLAIMER: "I find less smokable than her current hair." - This in NO WAY insinuates that Kevin Charnas wants Ms. Gosselin injured by her hair being set on fire.

(Title: Cigarette Head, by Photographer: Tyler Durden - source)
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