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AM STILL BREATHING. STOP.

HAVE BEEN ON VERGE OF BARFING ALL OVER MYSELF AND WEEPING FOR 4 WEEKS. STOP.

HAVE BEEN ON VERGE OF BARFING ALL OVER ANYONE WITHIN 20-FOOT RADIUS AND HANGING OFF OF THEM WEEPING FOR 3 WEEKS AND SIX DAYS. STOP.

WILL AND I HAVE SOLD OUR HOME. STOP.

WE HAVE A MATTRESS LYING ON THE BEDROOM FLOOR AND ALL OF OUR SHIT HAS BEEN PACKED IN A TRUCK (OR STOLEN) BY TWO EX-CONVICTS THAT SHARE 5 TEETH BETWEEN THEM. STOP.

WE LEAVE FOR CLEVELAND, OHIO TOMORROW. STOP.

SCRATCH THAT. WE LEAVE FOR McCAIN/PALIN HEADQUARTERS IN WARREN, OHIO (MY PARENTS) TOMORROW. STOP.

WE WILL BE LIVING THERE FOR THE MONTH BEFORE THE ELECTION BEFORE WE BUY AND MOVE INTO A HOUSE IN CLEVELAND, OHIO. STOP.

I'M ACTUALLY WORKING UNTIL THE NIGHT BEFORE WE LEAVE...WHICH MEANS RIGHT NOW. STOP.

I'M EXCITED. STOP.

I'M FREAKED OUT. STOP.

I'M NAUSEATED (WHICH YOU ALREADY KNEW). STOP.

I'M SAD. STOP.

AND I'D REALLY RATHER JUST CURL UP IN A BALL AND SHIT MY PANTS AND MAYBE EVEN WET MYSELF. STOP.

OKAY, MAYBE NOT "SHIT MY PANTS". STOP.

MAYBE SHIT SOMEONE ELSE'S PANTS. STOP.

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW BEING OVER. STOP.

BECAUSE THE LOAN ISN'T EVEN FUCKING FINAL YET AND OUR SHIT IS GONE AND WE HAVE NOTHING AND WE QUIT OUR JOBS AND SAID 'GOODBYE' TO PEOPLE WE LOVE AND IT WASN'T ENOUGH TIME AND I DIDN'T GET TO SAY 'GOODBYE' TO ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THERE'S A POSSIBILITY THAT JOHN McPAIN AND SARAH FLAILIN' MIGHT WIN AND MY PARENTS HAVE A SIGN IN THEIR FRONT YARD FOR THOSE ASSHOLES AND WE HAVE TO LIVE THERE AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT I JUST DID INDEED BARF ALL OVER MYSELF AND I'M THINKING OF RIPPING ALL MY HAIR OUT, STARTING WITH MY PUBES AND WEEPING IS STILL A VIABLE OPTION AND.

I WISH I COULD. STOP.