Sunday Morning Mud Wrestling...For Christ

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I remember seeing a guy, probably in his mid-30's, recently on campus at UC Santa Barbara (where I work) wearing a tee-shirt that said, "Wrestling For Christ".

I just pictured him yelling to his son,


"DO IT FOR THE BABY JESUS, SON! THE BABY JESUS WANTS YOU TO FUCK HIM UP!! YEAH!!" ("BBbbbrrrrrrtt"... - that's the sound of one of the wrestlers letting one.)

I know that this is mean, but I almost guffawed in his face. I wanted to laugh maniacally and scream, "Do you honestly think that the Baby Jesus wants you to wrestle in HIS NAME???"

I know, I know, it's really the effort and sacrifice that one is offering to the Baby Jesus. But, still...there's just something ludicrous about it. Or maybe there's just something ludicrous about advertising it.

Do you think that in ancient times, people wore shit on their togas or yelled things like,


"WRESTLE FOR ZEUS, SOPHOCLES! GRAB HIS WIENER! SHOW ZEUS YOU MEAN IT!!"

Or...in Rome,


"YEAH! DO IT FOR CAESAR!! PUT YOUR HOLE ON HIS HEAD!! ALL HAIL CAESAR!!"

Or maybe on the other side of the world, they were yelling,


"WRESTRE FOR CONFUCIUS!! HE SAY, 'DO YOUR BEST'! DO YOUR BEST FOR YOUR ANCESTORS! HEY! WAITRESS! I need some more green tea over here, bish. And this egg rorr tastes rike ass. I want to speak wif managa!"

No? Okay...Well, I was just wondering out loud as I occasionally do.

So, without further ado, here's some Sunday Morning Mud Wrestling...for the god of your choice.

Although, I have to say, that all the hands in the wall freak me out. And the music is just bizarre too. Actually, the whole thing is rather bizarre...and oddly erotic. I think that maybe if all the hands were throwing lit firecrackers at the wrestlers, it would've been MUCH more interesting. And the peeps behind the wall could've been sporting shirts that said, "Throwing firecrackers for Christ!"

I think we all know that the Baby Jesus would want that.

For the hetero women in our group, and gay men, and the bi-curious.

And for the hetero men among us, and gay women, and the bi-curious.

It's okay, you can go ahead and watch. Do it for Artemis, if no one else. She'll think your cool. She'll be down with it.