Weird Al Yankovic - Trapped In The Drive-Thru

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This contribution comes to us compliments of one of my bestest buds of all time, Melanie in North Carolina. Thanks, Mel! You and Weird Al just brightened my Monday.

I still have a chip in one of my front teeth from an icy January day in 5th grade at Emerson Elementary School in Warren, Ohio. Melanie stole my gloves and I was running after her stank ass and that crazy ho fell and then this crazy ho slipped and fell on top of her slamming my pointy chin on her skull, thus chipping ALL of my front teeth.

Foreplay in 5th grade was SO MUCH more creative than when we're adults.

Anyway, a few years ago when I was having some cosmetic work done on my teeth, the dentist wanted to even out the biggest chip. And I said, "Don't you dare. A very fond memory resides there."

Even though you fucked my teeth up, I miss you like crazy, Mel...even the times you used to throw gum in my hair.