Harry Potter's Popper

"Harry Potter" Makes Racy Stage Debut

Daniel Radcliffe makes his West End stage debut as a troubled stable boy in Peter Shaffer's "Equus."

He strips naked, simulates sex and smokes on stage during the play.

Some people are outraged at this.

Let's examine what could really be an issue, shall we?

If this was how Harry were smoking while signing autographs after the performance?

Then, I'd be bothered.

And let's examine who could rather be on stage naked, simulating sex, shall we?

Albus Dumbledore?

Well, I'd be a little squeamish. And slightly nauseated. Okay, okay, you're right, I'd be very nauseous. There's a good chance I'd blow groceries.

Severus Snape's snake?

I'd rather put a staple in my tongue. Okay, no I wouldn't. I would just close my eyes while he stripped and gyrated on stage. Okay, no I wouldn't. But, I probably wouldn't like it. Okay, maybe I would.

Hagrid?

I'd be scared as hell, running out of the theater as fast as I could, screaming my head off, while covering my hole up. You KNOW that even people in wheelchairs would be jackknifing trying to get out of there.

Dobby the Elf?

Naked, slutty, masturbating elves? Nothing makes my blood boil quicker. THEN, I'd be outraged.

For those who are pissed about Daniel Radcliffe going buff, gyrating and smoking on stage?

Guess what fuckers? If you're outraged?

Don't go see it.

If you don't want your kids to see it?

Don't take them.