Oatmeal Is Not Foreplay (Okay, Sometimes it is...)

Poor Wen has been itching and scratching for 2 weeks, so at the suggestion of my Vet, I'm getting ready to get naked in the bathtub with this little hottie and a pot of warm oatmeal... to pour over her... and to work into her fur... and let dry... You're jealous. Don't lie... (and just look at her... little does she know... she's gonna be all, "WTF, BISH?! YOU JUST SMEARED OATMEAL IN BOTH OUR PRIVS!! Oh... Wait a minute... Is this foreplay or something?") NO, WENNIE!! IT'S NOT!! She's naughty... :(

AND the email I sent the Vet post-oatmealageddon, "Oh... my... GOD...

There is oatmeal EVERY WHERE.

OMG. OMG.

It's on the bathroom sink, the toilet, the baseboards, 4 feet up in the air on the shower curtain, on the walls, the rugs in the house, my bedspread, my pillows, her bed, her pillows... blankets in the living room... I think I used too much water... Is it suppose to be so pasty? Omg.

AND she's still itching the living daylights out of herself... And now eating oatmeal. Is that going to give her the shits?

And I have oatmeal smeared in my privs.

Thanks a lot. I'm going to choke you."

He replied, "You're just suppose to do a little bit. It's suppose to be a tea, not porridge. Why do you have it smeared on your peeper...?"

Okay. So, I didn't tell him about my privs and he didn't inquire about my peeper...

Yet.

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