HERCULANEUM

So, yes, I ended up having a double hernia surgery on Monday morning. It was a "possible" double, but apparently, it needed to be done. I originally had an emergency hernia operation when I was six weeks old. And thankfully, that held for 41 years. Well, I'm having a rather rough week - the surgery has been much more painful than I anticipated. I don't know what I was thinking, but I wasn't thinking this... AND I'm constipated on top of that, so that's been extra fun. And the pain medication (which adds to my constipation) just makes me sleep all the time... which i'm certain Will prefers... The constipation part... Holy smokes. I've never been constipated before, but...

it sure doesn't feel like anything smaller than that is going to be coming out of there.

It's like someone glued my hole closed.

Do they DO that during surgery for shits (pun intended) and giggles? Are they all like, "Hey, let's glue his hole shut and see how long it takes for him to notice..."

'Cause it sure feels like it.

I basically look like this...

Minus the ear rings. And the bad, highlighted bangs. And that terrible... top. If you can call it that. And those ridiculous jeans. And all that arm fat. Okay, so I don't look like that at all. Except the bloated part.

I'm sure it will all be fine. I just ate 4 pounds of black beans and chased it with a gallon of Cholula Hot Sauce, so, if I'm "lucky", the neighbors will be running for helmets soon.

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