HERCULANEUM

So, my Mom tends to buy me (and now "us") a snowman every year for Christmas. And now, we have a nice little snowman collection going on. I rather like them, especially because they came from Mom.

This year there was a package under the tree that she forgot to give to me and Will on Christmas morning. So, we just opened it the other day. And it was TWO snowmen.

Not really like this... I mean, kind of... But, they didn't have that flower bullshit around their bottoms and they don't look so obviously gendered. And I don't know what's going on with those crazy twirly twigs they're holding with the stars on them. I don't know what that's all about... They're cute though, but the gift didn't look like those two retards.

Plus, they're not separated, they're joined... like this:

It's almost like they're Siamese Snowmen... or conjoined snowmen. Like their asses melted together during a thaw.

So anyway, after my parents left (because while they were here we all forgot again), we opened the gift, and I said, "Oohh... are they two "boy" snowmen?" (redundant, I know) Like it was suppose to represent me and Will... Rather than the male and female "couples" that are usually portrayed in holiday ceramic art. And the thought of Mom purposely doing this, left me feeling extra sentimental.

So, Will replied, "I don't know... That one looks a little... feminine. She has a... a... mauve scarf on. And a mauve hat."

Then I replied with a contradiction in terms, "Well, then... you're the girl snowman."

And Will followed suit, "No. YOU'RE the girl snowman."

And I argued further, "No, you are."

And Will said, "You're the snowman with the tampon in."

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