Jesus In The Front, Party In The Back

Russell Brand Confirms He's Engaged to Katy Perry. (source)

Okay, so you've probably heard, or maybe not, and maybe you don't really give a shit.

I don't give a shit. I really couldn't care less about who's marrying who. I mean, I certainly wish them well. But, tell me he doesn't ALWAYS look crazy... Just LOOK AT HIM. He's all "Fine... Get your pictures now of this gorgeous creature, because I'm taking her up these stairs and throwing her right out the window. And then, I'm coming back downstairs... wearing her dress."

Here she is, practically Aphrodite herself coming out of this clam... holding a giant microphone and preparing to barf all over an admiring audience. Or maybe she's hissing... Maybe she's feral here and she's hissing... I'm certain that this exact image is what the ancient Greeks had in mind when they created the image of the Goddess of Love being born from some frothy sea foam (a mixture of the ocean and Uranus's spooge. - source - Nice. Really nice...). (I'm just glad it's not a bearded clam, is all I'm sayin'. Although, the pic probably would've been more memorable, no? Note to publicist... next time, put Katy in a bearded clam, against Kevin's wishes.)

And then there's Russell,

his own version of Venus De Milo.

Coming out of the Sea

as a vision of brilliant light and stunning beauty.

He does really crack me up...

He's funny and brilliant. And just plain outrageous.

And the hair? THE HAIR??

He's actually quite handsome, but that HAIR.

It's all Jesus in the front, and crazy party in the back.

And just for the record, Russell, I DON'T think you're a cross-dressing, homicidal maniac. You just look like one. But, I have a feeling you're already aware of that.

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