HERCULANEUM

So, none other than our dashing correspondent in D.C., Dickie (Thanks, Dickie!), sent this video clip to me yesterday and he wrote, "I LOOK MORE LIKE JESSICA RABBIT!"

He's right. And of course, he looks nothing like "Jessica Rabbit". But, he does look more like her than the poor thing up there in that video.

When I showed Will this video, he inquired, "Now, she hasn't had the surgery yet, right?"

I'm afraid so...

Just like that pint sized disaster in yesterday's post, the one posing with the Cabbage Patch Kid in her school pictures? Yeah... That one. This woman's so damn happy about even possibly looking like Jessica Rabbit to people with cataracts, SHE's practically farting sprinkles. And you KNOW how reluctant I am to discourage people from farting sprinkles...

At first I was staring dumbfounded thinking, is this for REAL? Is SHE FOR REAL? DOES SHE REALLY THINK SHE LOOKS LIKE JESSICA RABBIT???

She does.

And my heart hurt a little...

Here, of course, is THE

Jessica Rabbit. In all her glorious illustration.

And here's one poser,

a fairly good one too. SMOKIN', in fact.

And then, there's Miss Annette Edwards

Before (with one of her prize-winning bunnies - and word on the beat is she likes to rub her bunnies on her kitty when no one's looking)

And after...

Good lord... This poor thing... I keep holding the laptop away from me and purposely blurring my vision and then I think, she would actually look like her if I smeared vaseline on my eyeballs. Maybe she should only grant interviews if they smear vaseline on the camera lenses. That might be one solution. And she should never just sit down and NOT hold her breasts up with one arm. Not in front of the camera, you know... I mean, in that video clip up top, her boobs were in her lap.

I mean really... come on. Wynonna Judd

looks more like Jessica Rabbit.

And even SHE

thinks it's funny.

That sweet, crazy, delusional thing looks like a cross between

Tootsie

And

Sir Winston Churchill.

Miss Edwards was relatively attractive to begin with. The plastic surgery just seems a little severe.

I'm all for doing what really makes us happy. Truly, I am. But... I just dunno. At the risk of sounding horribly judgmental, I just don't think this is it. I don't think anything outside of ourselves will ever make us happy. Not truly happy.

If you're not happy without it, you're not going to be happy with it.

Then again, it's her path to take, teetering on her heels with her bad back and all. So, maybe I should just shut my pie-hole and let her walk.

But, I can't help thinking, when are we okay just the way we are?

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