And Behind Curtain #69, The Taxpayers Have Bought YOU, YOUR VERY OWN VIBRATOR!! AND IT'S A DIESEL!! (no batteries or silly electrical cords necessary)

Miss. Mayor Reveals He is Gay…After Visiting Gay Sex Shop on City’s Dime AND apparently, someone stole his teeth.

Davis told the Commercial Appeal, a Tennessee-based publication. “While I have performed my job as mayor, in my opinion, as a very conservative, progressive individual — and still continue to be a very conservative individual — I think that it is important that I discuss the struggles I have had over the last few years when I came to the realization that I am gay.”

Dude. I'm sorry... You can't be a "very conservative, progressive"... Conserve means to conserve. Progress means to progress. You might as well say, you're a very gay, straight person. Or, you're a very short, tall person. Or, you're a very pregnant, not pregnant bitch. Which is it. Pick one and run with it, Mayor Oxymoron.

The article goes on: Davis, a Republican, has been under criminal investigation for allegedly misusing $170,000 in city funds on both his city-issued and personal credit cards. According to the Commercial Appeal, an audit revealed he used city money to pay for thousands of dollars worth of liquor, expensive dinners, and a $67 charge at Priape, a Toronto store described by its website as “Canada’s premiere gay lifestyle store and sex shop.”

He told the newspaper he doesn’t remember what he purchased at the store, but said he visited it on a recruitment trip for the city.

Nice. Well, let's blame it on the taxpayers for buying you all that booze. They probably slipped you a roofie too. Those pesky taxpayers! They're so slimy.

Davis, who is divorced with three daughters, made an unsuccessful bid for Congress in 2008, running on a family values platform. He was first elected mayor in 1997, and said it‘s too early for talk about whether he’ll resign in light of the disputed expenses. He said he plans to take time off through the holidays to spend time with his family.

“The only apology I would make to my supporters if they are upset is the fact that I was not honest enough with myself to be honest with them,” he said. “But I have lived my life in public service for 20-plus years, and in order for me to remain sane and move on, I have got to start being honest about who I am.”

Mayor Oxymoron Davis? It's fine that you're gay. It's unfortunate that you're stupid.

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