Window Etchings

Well, I was just about murdered today on the freeway again. It's amazing to me that people still drive as fast as they do. At the very least, don't they know that the faster that they drive the more fuel they consume? Anything over 60/65 is a big waste of gas. And I would think that with the prices of what they are today, they might slow down to conserve and save some money.

I certainly don't expect them to think of my safety and how I'm someone's life partner, or someone's son, or father to our puppies, or brother, or uncle, or friend. I don't expect them to stop and think of what would change in multiple lives including their own should they lose control of their car and kill me and possibly themselves and others. Most people just don't think that it will happen to them. And such is life...and death. They're in a hurry, because they're late, or they think that it's cool to drive fast because they have undersized genitalia and want to distract everyone from noticing, "Oh my god! Did you see that guy in that really big truck on oversized tires driving WAY over the speed limit? I didn't even notice how tiny his balls were!" Okay, so not everyone thinks this. And when I'm late, I drive fast. And I try to rationalize saying that I'll never be late again and I don't drive over 70...or...75, damn it. But I don't tailgate people and I don't cut them off. And from this moment on, with you as my witness, I'll never speed again.

I really have been trying to drive slower these days and I'm also trying not to drive while on the cell phone. I really tried not to be on it this morning for 30 minutes (the entire duration of my commute to work) with my best bud, Doreen. But truly, I am trying...I'm doing much better these days. When I'm on the cell phone while driving, I completely admit that I zone out. It takes me to another realm in my head than merely trying to drink coffee while driving. It's not the same and it's dangerous.

However, this one time, while I was on the freeway, I simply had to call Doreen. A dusty midsized car passed by me in the left lane with a woman that looked to be in her early 60's, driving the vehicle. Well, like I said, it was rather dusty and someone had written with their finger on the back right window, which I'm assuming that she was oblivious to, and in cursive no less, PENIS LOVER. Needless to say, I fully appreciated the anonymous artist's work.

Which reminds me of another time, years ago when I was driving a nephew and a niece back from my sister's home at night. They were in the back seat of my Jeep Cherokee (I loved that piece of shit) and all of a sudden they began SCREAMING: "Aaaahhhhh!!! Gross! Eeewww! Yuk! That's DISGUSTING!!" I almost slammed on the brakes, I didn't know what the hell happened. I thought that one of them had puked on the other. Well, it turned out that my old friend Julie, the one who refers to her puss as The Garage, had long ago drawn on the inside of my then-fogged-up windows, huge cocks and balls. Cocks and balls, cocks and balls, everywhere. And everytime a car drove by us and their headlights lit up the windows, it illuminated Julie's artwork for my 8 year old nephew and 6 year old niece. And they would strike up the chorus again for another round of disgust.

And people probably saw all the oversized genitalia etched upon my car windows and maybe they had to call their best friend and tell them all about it. And hopefully they appreciated Julie's friezes, but through their laughter, as they were describing it, maybe they said, "Poor little guy... he's dreamin'."