Slow Death By Refracted Light

This hysterical and rather disturbing contribution comes to us from none other than our debonair correspondent in D.C., Dickie. Thanks, Dickie!

I couldn't breathe while watching this...It's priceless. As are the constant sirens in the background. AND the tilted camera view at the end. She is SO avant-garde.

And "We all know 20 years ago this wasn't happening. But now, it's happening now."

Or, "Not just around our Sun and Moon anymore. Everywhere we look."

"What is in our water supply and what is in our oxygen supply to do this? What is oozing out of our ground?"

"What the hell is going on?"

Indeed.

Well, I did some research and it happens that she's right.

There's something insidious that's trying to kill all of life off as we know it and it happens to be human-created.

And guess what?

It's this bitch:

Yeah, don't wave at me like everything's cool, Rainbow-fucking-Bright and your big gay horse riding in on a cloud of evil. And who the hell is the little fucker behind her?

I bet he's there to give her rim-jobs when they're travelling at a gallop.

Although, objectively speaking, who can turn down a rim-job? He's the perfect height for her and everything. It's like he's her personal pocket-rimmer.

Well anyway, it turns out that Miss Bright and her posse (in-between rim-jobs) are trying to wipe out anyone who isn't animated.

See? Here's them plotting our demise. And they've begun by devouring human brain cells through America's sprinkler systems.

And as you can read, most of mine are gone.

Who knew? Rainbow Bright is really Rainbow Wrong.