Cell Phone Suppository

I frickin' LOVE THIS. I suddenly want to be a faithful customer of the Alamo Drafthouse. But, we don't live in Austin...

When you're in a theater, whether you're watching a film, a play, a ballet, the orchestra, WHATEVER, turn your fucking cell phone OFF or on silent and don't check it until you leave or the performance is OVER. It's not just about the ringer. It's distracting to other peeps when the screen is glowing and you're TYPING. You're not in your FRICKIN' LIVING ROOM.

RUDE. RUDE. RUDE.

And if ONE MORE ASSHOLE texts someone while we're talking IN PERSON... If ONE MORE ASSHOLE checks their email on their phone while we're talking IN PERSON, that cell phone is going straight up their ass. No lube. Got it, Aunt Mildred??

Don't be rude.

(I bet you can't tell this pisses me off.)

(And the stupid bitch that left the above voicemail? You is ssooo ssttoooooppid, gurl. Dang. What? Was yo stank ass brought up in a barn or somepin?)

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