Caught

Okay, I have to be honest here.

The real reason that I haven't been blogging as much as I should is...

well...

it's kind of complicated.

I needed to get away for a little bit.

Or rather...

my penis did.

So, I sent it on vacation to a Chinese spa in Kowloon.

I'm not sure if you guys knew that I had a detachable penis? Did you?

Well, I do.

It can be rather convenient sometimes.

So, anyway. Yeah, I sent my peep on vacay to a Chinese spa in Kowloon for a little something different.

Well, we ALL know how bloggers are just CONTINUALLY hounded by the press.

As it turns out, while my peep was being carried from a lavender-salt scrub to the steam room, the PATHETIC paparazzi TOTALLY INVADED MY PRIVACY (and my privs) and snapped a picture.

My publicist is attempting to clean up the mess as I write this. And let me tell you that my penis is just PISSED ABOUT THIS!! Appropriately...and understandably.

He WAS trying to relax after all. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE??? PLEASE!!!

But, I wanted you to hear it from me. I didn't want you reading about it somewhere else. See? I'm pretty thoughtful, no? Yeah...that's what I think too.