Dear Baby Jesus, Please Tell Santa...

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There was a time when I was jittery with anticipation over the approach of Christmas undoubtedly because of the toys. I can look back and see the progression of my desires change with my age from Matchbox cars and fire trucks, to Legos, to a new 10-Speed bike, to a Walkman cassette player, eventually to a Kayak, another new bike, fire menz and even some binoculars to look at them with.

Well, eventually I have watched the degradation of those wishes morph into a desire for patio furniture, new towels, cookware and apparently...appliances. I'm not ashamed to admit it. And when it boils down to it, I don't really need anything. I feel very fortunate for my life and my home with Will and our dogs. And we have more than enough stuff.

But, as I am a reluctant consumer, I am still a consumer nonetheless. So, there are a few things that I'd like.

As I was washing the dishes the other day, it dawned on me that I'd like a toaster oven. Nothing really fancy, just a toaster oven. So, I yelled to Will in his studio, "BOO-BOO?? IF YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT TO GET ME FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR, YOU CAN GET ME A TOASTER OVEN! OKAY?"

And he replied a little perplexed, "A TOASTER OVEN??"

And I yelled back, "YES! A TOASTER OVEN!! BUT, IT'S REALLY NO BIG DEAL IF YOU FORGET."

So, later that night as Will and I were lying in bed reading before going to sleep, he asked me, "Why do you want a toaster oven?"

And I replied, "Because they say it's better to use a toaster oven than a microwave."

And he asked, "Who's 'THEY'?"

And I paused for a moment thinking, then replied, "God."

And he smirked then inquired again, "OOOOhhhhhh...God thinks it's better, huh?"

And I said, "Yes. Well, actually...it's the Baby Jesus, he LOVES toaster ovens. He doesn't like his shit microwaved."

And Will commanded, "A toaster oven it is then."

And we resumed our reading.

AND BABY JESUS'S DADDY SAID UNTO THEE,


"LET THERE BE LIGHT...AND TOASTER OVENS!!!....BECAUSE THE BABY JESUS LOVES THEM..."


I mean, that's basically what happened, right? First we had "Light", now we have toaster ovens. See? It's true.