George W. Missed his calling...

It dawned on me recently, why recently I don't know. It took me 5 years to realize what job George W. would have been cut out for. In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, I was watching him listening to the too late, too feeble rescue efforts underway and watching his face while he was taking it all in. The wheels were turning, all two of them. Unfortunately they weren't touching and someone hadn't oiled them in 40 years. He wasn't listening. He was trying to think of what he was going to say without prompters, without cards, without a brain. And when it came time for him to speak, it was clear - not only does he not have a brain, he should have been a motivational speaker for retarded people...retarded hillbillies, which sounds redundant, I know... But then I feel like this is an insult to retarded people. He likes running, George W. does, couldn't we have him cheering competitors on at the Special Olympics? I mean, he could compete if he wanted to, but I think cheering would suit him fine, no? After all, it's the Special Olympics, not the Stupid Olympics. He's not Special, so if he's going to compete, he should be competing in the later. Unless, if they have a 200 yard bow-legged-pigeon-toed-dumb-ass dash in the Special Olympics, he could compete in that one. Maybe sweeping up after the events would be a better idea. Yes, maybe that. Now I feel like I just insulted janitors everywhere...ugh. Maybe he could drive the short bus? We would just have to train him to drive it correctly, without beer that is, without beer, pot and blow. And he'd have to learn how to operate the lift for the wheelchairs. That's at least 4 months of training for W. right there. He wouldn't have to have any press conferences that made him feel awkward, wouldn't have to meet any Heads of State and he could keep his 5+ weeks of vacation a year. He would just have to put up with intermittent screams and drool, which I think that he's probably already used to that from his Mother and his daughters. Well, now I feel as though I've just insulted bus drivers everywhere...darn it. I don't know what the hell he's good for. Nevermind.